Author's Note: Some stories are too wild to be believed.

"Holy shit, man! You're never gonna freakin' believe this! Let's get a table near the back. I know there's no one here, but I don't need anyone else hearing this. Yes, way in the back. I'm telling you, man, this really happened! Ture story! Okay, okay! I'm calming down. Do you have that thing on? I want to get all this down before I forget any of it. Although I don't think I'm gonna forget this for a long time."

"Fine, I'll start at the beginning. Get me a beer first. Thanks, man. Okay, so today I had the day off the other day. Decided to go for a short hike in the morning - you know, clear my head, get all the work bullshit out, fresh air, all that. Got there about 8:30, only one other car there - Tuesday, you know? Great, I thought, almost have the whole place to myself. Probably won't meet that other person at all, park this size. Well, I got my stuff. Didn't have a pack or anything, just a water bottle and some bars - I wasn't going to be out long. Stretched a little bit and started into the woods."

"The trees are pretty dense in that part of the park. It's relaxing, you know? Quiet, air smells clean, nice and cool. Anyway, I was hitting it pretty fast - wanted to get to a hill with a good lookout before heading back - and I got a little winded. Pushing it just little too much, I guess. So, I decided to take a little break, just enjoy the woods. Well, like I said, the trees are pretty dense there; I couldn't see very far into the woods at all. Felt almost like being inside sometimes. There wasn't anywhere to sit on the trail, and the ground was still a little wet, so I stepped off the trail to find a log or something to sit on."

"When I get off the trail the trees just happen to line up so I can see a ways into the woods now. I look in there and there's this naked chick! Yes! Really! Yes, I could tell it was a girl - skin like that against those dark trees shows up pretty good, man. I'm like, what the hell, and I freeze - who knows what's going on and I don't want to get in a any trouble. So, after a second, my brain starts working again, and I can see she's freakin' tied up to a tree, man! Yes! Her hands were up above her head in some kind of cuff, and her legs are held apart by somethin'."

"I think, 'Holy shit. There is some bad shit goin' down here.' I don't know who did this, but I'm ready to book it out of there slightest hint of trouble. I get real still and quiet; look around hoping that they didn't see me. I made a little crack when I stopped - a branch - but maybe they would think it's an animal. So, I'm looking around for the dudes did this, and check my phone for service, ready to call the cops. No damn bars. I'm freaking out now, breathing heavy, trying to be as quiet as possible, and I look closer to see what is going down with this poor girl here."

"So, the girl is struggling, pulling at the stuff holding her to the tree, and I get a pair of binoculars I had in my pocket - hey, I like to watch birds; screw you man - and look closer. I haven't seen or heard anyone else around yet, so I start to calm down a little bit, but I'm still ready for shit to go down, you know? Anyway, I look through the binocs and I can see some more details. I was about, oh, thirty yards away, so now I could see what was happening."

"She had handcuffs on - regular police-type - and they were held up to a heavy branch by a piece of chain. I could see that her legs were held apart by a metal bar about twice shoulder-width - there were small chains around her ankles at each end with little locks on them. I couldn't really see her face, because she had on some kind of blindfold and there was a big ball in her mouth with a strap running, I assume, around the back of her head holding it in. Gag, yes, fine. I listened hard and could just make out her mumbling - couldn't understand a damned word, of course."

"I look up the chain to see where it ends in the tree - about ten feet up, someone must have been a good climber to get up there - and I see another little flash. You know, like a small piece of shiny metal. I refocus the 'nocs and I can see it's a little keyring, like, hanging from the branch on a piece of string. I'm like, what the eff is that about. Why would these assholes leave the keys here, especially way up in the tree like that? So, I look closer, and I can see the keyring is hanging from a little piece of ice. You know, like an ice cube, right? From the freezer? Yes, I know you know what an ice cube is. Dick. Let me finish my story."

"I'm like, what is up with that? Doesn't make any sense at all. There's no reason dude would tie up a chick like this and then leave the keys hanging from an ice cube, right? Then, it all clicks. I had been there for about ten minutes now, hardly moving, quiet as can be. No dudes around at all; girl naked, tied up; keys hanging from an ice cube and a string; out in an isolated part of the park on a day when no one comes out."

"She had done this herself! I'm serious, man! What other answer could there be, right? Girl getting' her freak on big time out in the woods. I was like, whoa, that's some heavy shit. But now I was a little more relaxed, 'cause I had figured it out, and I didn't have to worry about some bad dudes messing me up. So I think, damn, you go girl, that's hot. Don't tell me you're not thinkin' the same thing, man."

"Now that the danger's over, I take a little time and soak up some more details. Girl had been looking around frantic when I crashed a little while back, really pulling at the handcuffs and trying to talk through that big gag, but she had calmed down - probably thought it was an animal, since I didn't say anything or make more noise."

"So, I told you how she was tied up, blindfolded, gagged. What I didn't tell you was that girlfriend was a piece, man; a real hottie. She was small, around five-three, five-four, and just a little curvy, but not too much. Great tits. Super nice legs - the bar holding them apart set them off. Could just tell from the front that the probably had a killer ass. I mean, unless the face under that blindfold was Owen Wilson, girlfriend had it goin' on! I started to wonder why she needed to do this herself. I mean, I would tie up a chick like that in a heartbeat, she wanted me to. Don't tell me you wouldn't."

"Since I hadn't spooked her too much, I figured that I would settle down and enjoy the show. You know, as long as I didn't mess with her, no harm, no foul, right? Exactly. Get me another beer, would you? So, I sit down real slow and just watch for a while. Shit yeah, it got me goin'. I could see now that the only other thing she had there was a backpack sitting by the tree - I was taking in all the details now; didn't want to forget this one!"

"She stays still for a while, then starts pulling at everything, mumbling like she's begging someone for something. Makes those tits bounce - whoo! - and her legs shake. I can imagine her ass, too. Jesus, just thinkin' about it, right? Little breeze comes up, blowing the leaves, kinda cool. Gets a little stronger before it stops. Her whole body shivers and she starts pullin' again. Holy crap, she was hot."

"So, I start thinking, what if I go join her? Right? You were thinking it too. But then I think, not cool, man. I'm still not one hundred percent sure what's goin' on here, and If I get caught somehow, I could get really effed up. So, I just watch, take a few photos and video with my phone."

"I'm there about an hour - it's around ten now, sun's up high comin' through the trees, getting a little warmer - taking it all in. I'm not going to forget this one for a long time. I mean, I'm in the middle of a damn Penthouse Forum letter. 'Dear Penthouse, you're never gonna believe this but . . .' Then, I see a little flash up above her. It looks like the ice melted and her keys have fallen, so she can get out now. I get ready to take off - don't want to be there when that blindfold comes off, though I am curious about her face."

"I look up, and I can see that the keys are hanging lower, but nowhere near her hands! Yes! I guess that little wind blew the string up into the branches and now it's tangled up way up there. I can see she's looking around now, too, up to the tree, even though she has a blindfold on. She must have heard them clatter. She starts struggling even more; I can tell now she thinks the keys have fallen, and she's looking for them. She's reaching around as far as her hands will go, fingers grasping, really twisting in those cuffs now. God damn, though, that made her look even hotter. I'm sorry, that's what I thought!"

"After a few minutes of grabbing at empty air, she stops. She sags down, hands pulling at the handcuffs now. It almost looks like they are holding all her weight. I don't know if she knows what happened, or just thinks it was a false alarm, and is waiting again. But whatever - I know what happened, and that she ain't getting out of that without help. She'll be stuck here otherwise."

"I think 'Shit,' 'cause I haven't seen or heard another person the whole morning. It's gonna be up to me. I'll have to go get involved. So, I think about it for a minute; what am I gonna do, how am I gonna play this? Yeah, no, this was the big brain thinking now, not the little brain, man. I take a breath, get up and start walking toward her."

"There's a lot of debris in this part of the woods, so there's some crackling and popping as I walk to her - nothing for it. This time, somehow, it looks like she can tell it's a person, and she starts to freak out. Turning her blind head back and forth over and over again; pulling really hard at the cuffs now, legs too; just frantic mumbling into the gag. It's hard to make out, but I think I can understand the words 'no' and 'please' over and over again."

"I stop right in front of her - Jesus, up close she's even better-looking. Sorry, man, what can I say? I'm not gonna lie! I just say 'Your keys got caught up. String is stuck in the branches. Must have been the wind.'"

"Well, she reacts like someone just put a freakin' gun to her head! Everything gets weirder. Pulling so hard I think she's going to hurt herself - really trying to get out, but that ain't happening. More through the gag, definitely 'no' and 'please', maybe 'help'? Head swinging back and forth, trying to see something, or maybe just figure out where I am by sound. I stand there for another couple seconds. I have to calm this chick down, right? She's going to get hurt, and that will probably be on me."

"So, I say, 'Shh! Calm down! I'm not going to hurt you! I'm here to help. Can you be quiet for a minute?' But she just keeps going, getting even louder, pulling harder. I think if there is anyone on the trail right now, I am completely screwed if they see us. I get real close to her, and pull out my most bad-ass voice. I get quiet, but I say 'Listen, bitch, either you shut the hell up or I walk away from here and leave you until some other hiker finds your dumb ass and lets you out - if they do at all. Clear?' She freezes, stiff, like a stone. I clearly scared the shit out of her. She's just whimpering into the gag now, not moving a muscle. I'm like, I have to get this shit under control, now."

"'Look,' I say. 'I'm really not going to hurt you. I know you're freaked out; I get it. Well, I don't get it, but I'm down with it. We just need a few minutes to figure out how to get all this shit together, okay?' She nods ands says 'Mm-hmm' and then gets quiet again. Then I say, 'Alright, I'm going to pull this thing out of your mouth, so you can help me through all this. Are you going to be cool?'"

"She nods again. I reach around her head really slow and find a buckle on the back of the gag. I start to undo it, and she's got it really tight! Like, it's really digging into her cheeks. I say, 'Holy shit, girl!' and get it loose, and then pull it out of her mouth. She stretches her jaw a couple of times, and then starts freaking out again, but quiet, like."

"'Please, let me go!' she says. 'Please, sir! I'll do anything you want! Please, please!' It's coming fast now. She's almost babbling, totally terrified. Who could blame her? I know she did it herself, but still. I put my hand over her mouth and say, 'Stop.' Just like that. Flat. Like she hit a wall - total silence. Then I say, 'We need to talk, or I can't help you. Nod if you understand.' She nods and I take my hand away. This time she seems a little calmer, like she's getting control of herself. 'Can you please take off my blindfold? Please, Sir?' Very, like, I don't know, polite, but more than that. Like she's practiced talking that way. I say, 'We're going to leave that for a little while, just in case. However this works out, I don't need you seeing me right now, cool?'"

"Then she says back - I'm not kidding - 'Yes, Sir.' She gets real quiet and lowers her head. I say, 'Right, the "Sir" is a bit much. You don't need to do that, just answer my questions, right?' She says, 'Yes,' and there's a pause, like she was going to say 'Sir' again out of habit and then thought better."

"'Good,' I says. 'So, those keys up in the tree, are those your only set?' 'Yes,' she says. I said, 'Shit. That's going to take some doing to get up there. Are your hands okay?' She says 'Yes' again and waits. Almost like she's playing a role. She clearly wants to stay on my good side - can hardly blame her."

"'Fine,' I said. 'Then we have little time to figure this out. So, just to make sure, you did all this yourself, right?' She looks surprised, I think. Hard to tell with the blindfold, but I ain't taking that off yet and risking an I.D. if this all goes sideways. Then she looks a little irritated. 'What does that have to do with letting me out? Sorry,' this last part is kind of apologetic, like she just realized who she's talking to."

"I say, 'Look, I'm cool with you getting your groove on any way you want. Live and let live, and so on. But now I'm kinda stuck in this with you, you get it? I can't just walk away, can I? Plus, I'm still a little freaked out - thinking there might be someone hiding, waiting to mess me up. So, I think you can answer a few questions, don't you think?'"

"'Right,' she says. 'Well, yes, I definitely did this all by myself, without any help at all from anyone else. There won't be anyone else coming. You are the only one who can help me.' She gets this kind of quiet, resigned look."

"'Okay,' I say. 'Do you do this often?' She gets another irritated look, but it passes fast. 'Not out here, no. This is the first time I've been outdoors. But I do it a lot at home.' She's waiting for me to talk again. 'So, you tie yourself up. Like I said, that's cool with me. But, how come you don't have a boyfriend to do it for you? I mean, if you don't mind my saying, you have a killer body. Most guys I know would be all over a girl like you.'"

"'Thanks,' she says, 'that's nice of you.' She seems a little flustered at that. Then she keeps going. 'I tried that.' She was starting to warm up to it a bit now. This was obviously something she liked thinking and talking about. 'They just couldn't do it right - the way I liked. The more I told them, the worse it got. I just wanted someone to know what to do, you know? Plus, I had a bad experience once. It really scared me, so I just started doing it myself.'"

"'I get that,' I said. It was wild - here we were, middle of the forest, this girl chained up, stuck, hanging like a piñata, and we're talking about old boyfriends and tying yourself up likes it's the freakin' football game. Bizarre. I decide to push it a little further, because I'm getting some ideas now, myself. 'So, this gets you . . . excited?' I ask."

"She takes a deep breath. Seems like she's not sure if she should answer that or tell me to piss off and take her chances. Then she lets it out and says, real quiet, 'Yes, it excites me a lot. More than anything else, if you want to know.' She waits. I ask her, 'What do you think about, with all that time on your hands?' Little smart-ass, yes, but I was getting into it."

"'Being helpless,' she says. God, she's pretty. 'The feel of it when you pull. Struggling like there is someone watching, controlling you. Sometimes, I fantasize about exactly what's happening right now - getting caught,' she's on a roll now, 'exposed, by some stranger . . . fucked by them.' I'm shocked. I can just say, 'Umm.' She looks like she knows she went too far, then lifts her head up. 'It doesn't hurt anyone. It's a lot better than what some people do to get off.'"

"'I'm not judging,' I said right away. 'Like I said, this is all cool with me. But this one would have hurt you if I hadn't come along, wouldn't it?' She hangs her head, 'Yeah, thank you so much. I can't tell you how scary this is, and how much I appreciate you being nice about it. You're okay.'"

"I'm like, oh man, I have to get this girl out. She trusts me now. I have to be cool about that. So, I say, 'Alright, let's get to it. Those keys are pretty high up. You must be a good climber. I'm not. And I didn't bring much with me in the way of tools. I'm gonna check in your pack to see if there's anything I can use to help out.' 'No!' she says, but I'm already in it. Her clothes are in there - not much, just some shorts and a t-shirt, flip-flops, not underwear or bra.

Then at the bottom, a couple things that look like complicated clips or something, connected by a chain. 'What's this?' I ask. 'These clips on the chain?' I rattle the chain, and she looks embarrassed again. 'They're,' she stops, bites her lip for a second. I know, right? Extremely hot. 'They're . . . clamps. For . . . for my nipples.' I'm like, how could this get any weirder? Then I ask a stupid question. 'How come you're not wearing them, then?' Yes, I'm a dumb-ass."

"She says, 'They're pretty intense. I knew I would be out here for a while, and wasn't sure I could take them for that long. I just wanted to enjoy the day.' I laughed a little bit, then said, 'Sorry.' She kept going. 'Basically, I chickened out. Sorry.' I'm not kidding, man. That was the most embarrassed she sounded yet! She actually apologized to me for not having clamps on her nipples! I was like, whoa, this is next-level. I don't know what I was thinking, then. 'Cause I asked her, 'Would you like to try them?' I couldn't believe it myself. Did I just say that? What's happening?"

"She gets real still, then slowly says, 'Yes, Sir. Yes, I would like it very much if you would please put those clamps on my nipples. Please, Sir.' Yes! She really said that! I'm like, this is getting way deeper than I am ready for, but I can't stop. Little brain now, right? The only time I've toucher her so far is to take the gag off. So, I reach up and pinch her right nipple, just a bit. She leans her head back and moans. Oh my god, I know. Sexy. I open up the clamps and put it over her nipple. She can feel it coming and starts to whimper. Yeah. Then I let it close and she yelps, jumping a little bit, making her tits bounce. I say, 'Are you ready for the other one?' She says, 'Yes, Sir,' and actually shoves her tits out. I put the other clamp on and say, 'How is that?' She says, 'They hurt, Sir.' "Do you want me to take them off?' I ask her. 'No, Sir. Please leave them on, Sir.' I don't have to tell you that I am getting really turned on by this point, and maybe I'm making some not-so-good decision, but screw it, right?"

"She shakes back and forth, rattling the little chain. Really getting into it, and you know what? So am I. So, I ask, 'Is there anything else you would like?' I mean, what could happen right? So she asks me, 'Sir, if I may ask, do you have any . . . protection? A . . . condom?' Yeah, man, she asked that. Well, you know, man, I always have one in my wallet, so I say, 'Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have protection. Why do you ask?' We're both getting deep now. I mean, we're both obviously so into it we aren't even thinking about getting her out anymore. She says, I'm not making this up, 'Please, Sir, if you wouldn't mind, could you call me "slave?"' Yes! No! Really! Unbelievable! I'm finally figuring it out. So, I say, 'Fine, slave. What would you like me to do next to you, slave?'"

"She rolls her head and smiles when I say it. Then she says, real slow, sultry, 'Please, Sir, would you be so kind as to fuck this slave?' I'll tell you, man, there was nothing else in the damn world right then. I say, 'Yes, slave, if you ask nicely, I will fuck you.' So, without missing a beat, she says a little louder, desperate, 'Please, please, Sir. Please fuck this slave. Please fuck her without mercy.' Then she leaned back, letting the cuffs take her weight. 'If you insist,' I say. Clever, right? 'Please, Sir? One more thing?' she says. What else could there be? 'What is it, slave,' I say. 'Would you please gag this slave? Gag her nice and tight?' I don't say anything, just put the ball in her mouth and buckle it as tight as I can. She starts moaning into it. Well, I don't have to tell you I was ready. I got my pants off and put on the rubber. There we were, middle of the woods, her naked and chained up, me half-naked, ready to go at it. I got my legs between hers and over the bar, so she could bring them up in back of me. This is where it gets nasty, ha. Well, like I said before, she was pretty small - my waist was about in the middle of her chest. So, I lift her up. Not too hard, unlike me. Joke! Jesus! I start to let down on me, and I can tell she's wet - totally ready. I get her all the way down on me, and we start rocking. Real slow at first. She's saying something into the gag, but I have no idea what. Probably she doesn't either."

"She's really good, knows how to move, even with all that stuff on. Damn, it's good. She slows up and mumbles again, this time with purpose, and nods down at her tits. 'The clamps?' I say. Of course, the freakin' clamps. She garbles out the words 'Pull on them.' I can't do that and hold her up at the same time, so I use one hand and grab them in my teeth. I'm still in her, and I pull on them. She groans and starts really bucking. She can't see a thing and must be completely messed up by now. Her head is going back and forth like crazy. I can tell both of us are close - not going to last much longer. She leans way back, pulling hard on the clamps. I'm about to let go, but I know she doesn't want that. She jerks back, hard, and yanks the clamps off, then screams - she's coming, hard! She bears down on me, and I can't hold it anymore. I just pop. Then, it's over. She slumps her head on my shoulder, and I just hold her up. Romantic, right?"

"We're like that for a little while, and then she starts to mumble again, like she wants something. I set her down and back up from her. Of course, she still has to stand with her arms up. She must be exhausted by now. I pull off the rubber and toss it away - I know, litterbug. Didn't really care then. I reach back again and take the gag off. She groans and waits for a moment. Finally, she says, 'Okay, can we get me out now?' 'Yeah,' I say. 'Might take me a bit. This climb looks tough, and I don't want to fall and pass out, or worse. Bad for me, more bad for you.' 'Okay,' she says. 'Be careful, please.' She's dropped the 'Sir,' but I'm okay with that. We're out of the zone now. Not bad or anything, just quiet and satisfied."

"It's a tough climb, but I get up the tree and bring the keys back down without a problem. It takes a while, and she asks me a couple of times how it's going. She's clearly nervous - I'm the only way she is getting free. And as much as she likes being tied up out here, and as good a time as we had, she doesn't want to be here forever. I get down to the ground and stand in front of her."

"'Got 'em,' I say. She lets out a breath, relieved. 'Thank you,' she says. She lowers her head. 'Thank you for . . . everything. Sir.' 'Yeah,' is all I can say. 'Thank you too.' I start to recover my wits. 'That was, without a doubt, the weirdest experience I have ever had.' 'Me too,' she says. 'Okay,' she says, 'do you have the keys or not?'"

"I say, 'Yes. Yes, I do, slave,' as I pick up the gag again. She barely gets out a 'What?' before I push it in and buckle it again. She starts to whine and pull again, and I say, 'I'm going to give you the keys, so I can get away without you seeing me. I'll take your pack and put it down in the parking lot - that will make your trip back more interesting. I assume the other car down there is yours. If there's anyone else there I'll come back with it.' She shakes her head, saying 'No! No!' over and over again, but I'm feeling like this is the right move. Might be stupid, but she will at least be okay. Then I get another great idea - full of them, right?"

"I grab those clamps again and put them on her nipples. This time she sounds furious! But you know what? That's just the mood. She'll have them off in a little bit, and it will give her something to remember me by. I take the key and tie the string to her handcuffs. It's a long string, so it hangs to the ground. Probably take her a couple minutes to pull it up, couple more to work the keys into the cuffs, couple more again to get the rest off. I'll be long gone by then. 'They're right there on the string,' I say. 'That way you can't drop them. You're welcome.' I can distinctly make out a 'Fuck you' through the gag, and she starts pulling the string as fast as she can."

"I take her pack and head quickly down to the parking lot. There's no other cars there, so I set the pack by her car. I get into my car, roll the windows down, and wait. I'm going to stay there till I can hear her coming, then take off. And, that's how it ends."

"That's it?" he said, looking at his friend incredulously. "You're not going to tell me if she made it down?"

"What?" the friend says, sipping his second beer. "Yeah, of course she did. I couldn't leave without knowing. What kind of person do you think I am?"

"The kind that either has sex with strange women tied up in the forest, or the kind who tells really good lies."

"Are you calling me a liar?" He gasps and looks offended. "How can you say that about me?"

A woman walks up to their table. She is diminutive, yet curvaceous. He notices that she is beautiful, and he is speechless for a moment. Then the girl puts her arm around her friend and kisses him. She breaks off and looks across the table at him defiantly. Then she says to the friend, "Hey, Joey, how's it going?"

"Mike, this is Laura. You'll never believe how we met . . ."