Author's Note: This is more of a report than a story. It is a report about the self-bondage games I play, thus all you will find in here is absolutely non-fiction up to each little detail. Enjoy and take away some inspiration!

In the case that you just want to read a self-bondage story, then I kindly would suggest that you go somewhere else. However, you really might miss something. Come on, give it a try!

And please remind that my mother-tongue is German. Thank you!

1. About Me

I am in my forties, and I live together with my former Mistress Sascha and her slave-girl Katrin. For Katrin's favour Sascha tries to educate me to become a Mistress too, but I am not really talented in (this kind of) domination. And I think about to stop my training to Mistress in earnest, because each time I play with our little cutie I just envy her too much. How this strange ménage a trois came about can be read in my biographical story "Andrea's Journey into Wonderland". In the case you are interested.

Sexually, I am a born lesbian slave-girl, I always was and I always will be, and thus I long for to be on my knees in the presence of a strict but loving Mistress, to be bound and gagged, to be helpless and defenceless, to be locked away, to be kept chaste, to be teased and denied, tormented, forced, used and abused into silliness. In short, I am a bondage-toy, I am a sex-toy and I am a rubber-doll- or at least I want to.


2. Some Technical Information

After Sascha had restored my freedom I necessarily returned to self-bondage, but I immediately faced the same problems that I have had before my time in slavery. How can you make a self-bondage session really, really interesting, how could it be possible to create a situation that is approximately similar to a session with a real Mistress?

And tell you what, I found a way. I have looked for it since years, I have looked for it since I started to tie me up in earnest, I have looked for it long before all what I have found was even available.

Out there in the internet a programmer named Doti has created a program named SexScripts, based on the Groovy-language. SexScripts is tailor-made for programming the sexual fantasy you have and play it if you have no partner to enjoy it together. It is much more flexible than VirtualMistress or other applications in this field.

You must not be an expert to hand SexScripts, it is quite easy to use with some little practice. I could manage it, so you can too, if you are interested. Call up https://ss.deviatenow.com and find out! It might change your life!

By the way, it's all free, so please be assured that I do not advertise commercially!

The next problem I had to solve was how I could steer my so beloved Hitachi Magic Wand with the SexScripts program. There are vast possibilities to do this with an Arduino-board, but this was way too complicated for me. You have to be an engineer to use the Arduino.

I did thorough research and I already was about to give it up, but finally I found what I looked for. A socket with an USB-connection! It's name is Switchbox, available on www.antrax.de. In the case you are into my games too give it a try, it really might change your life! But beware, there is also Chinese crap out there named Orvibo. Do not ever use it, it's not secure and electricity is not a joke!

Now I had everything together and fantasy could fly!


3. Being My Own Mistress

The first thing to do now was to become my own Mistress. As I wanted it as real as possible my first law for myself was that I am never ever allowed to touch or to vibe myself without permission. While I was enslaved I wore a chastity-belt and eventually a chastity-bra (I loved it!) and my Mistress was of course the key-holder. But real chastity-devices also come with some messy and uncomfortable side-effects with respect to certain body-functions, and an unforgiving steel-band through your crotch. It makes a nice thigh-gap, but, believe me, it also can be very annoying, and sometimes it can even hurt. As a slave-girl I endured all this happily for the pleasure of my Mistress, and the pleasure of my Mistress was of course my pleasure. But this is nothing that you can play with yourself, no chance. Thus, no chastity-belt or bra, but unconditional obedience to my first law. And I kept it, as hard as it sometimes is, but I kept it and I'll keep it. Either you play in earnest or it is no game that it is worth to be played!

My second law is that I am only allowed to play when my program - which I will call Mistress in all what follows - allows me to play. Thus, when I want to play I call up my Mistress. On the screen then a picture appears that shows an obviously dominant woman of my choice, and a button that reads: This girl begs her Mistress to play with her girl. While I was enslaved I was only allowed to talk about myself in the third person (in play) and I keep it like this, because this is a real turn on for me.

I press enter and then two things can happen. With a fifty-fifty chance Mistress agrees, or refuses. When Mistress refuses I have to wait for a randomly chosen time-window between one and seven days until I am allowed to play. I do not see a count-down, I just have to look all day, hope and pray.

Can you imagine how it can feel to be denied? Think about it for a moment, maybe feel it. You beg because you need it, you really need it, but you are denied. Incredibly real, except the fact that this computer-Mistress is much more strict then a real one could be, because it is completely impossible to provoke her to something or to negotiate with her in some way. In this case even a punishment is all better than to be denied and ignored.

When I am finally allowed to play Mistress will ask me some questions. These questions appear on the screen and I have to chose a Yes-button or a No-button, but in order to make it all more real I also used a text to speech converter with a female voice to create mp3-files that are called up by the program. There is no need to buy things like this. A good free one is http://www.fromtexttospeech.com.

The questions are: am I shaved properly (everywhere), did I hold my weight, is the measure of my waist as it should be, did I do my nails, are my hair as they should be, did I do my exercises? I play that Mistress inspects her property. And when it comes to me that I have been somewhat sloppy with these rules in the past days or weeks I confess, apologize and answer No - and receive my well deserved punishment. This is, that my earliest chance to beg for play again is in a two weeks time.

Imagine how that feels! Imagine it! Life is life and you certainly can forget to do your nails, eat some more than you are allowed to or should, forget to shave your armpits because this and this and that happened - or just out of laziness. A good-girl must never be lazy! Always as ordered, always neat, always on attention, always ready to serve.

Imagine it! If you really play in earnest this is incredibly real, incredibly frustrating and incredibly arousing all at the same time.

After I have passed the inspection the security-check starts. Mistress orders me to check the locks and the keys, to check the cord with the release key, to check the release mechanism, to check that the Switchbox works properly. The release-mechanism is the opening of the cd-tray, I come to this in more detail below.

As a back-up I use the infallible ice-release, a key frozen in an amount of water that will take five to six hours to melt. The maximum session-time is roundabout five to five and a half hours. I mostly play on weekends, but hey, does a needy clitty care about the next working day?

Also, Mistress checks if all shackles, locks, manacles, leather-bands and the muzzle-gag are placed where they have to be placed.

With respect to the security-check some additional words shall be in order. Self-bondage is an incredible fun, but it also is dangerous if not every detail is planned with the utmost care. I live together with two girl-friends, but this self-bondage game is my game and I treat it as if I would live alone. Thus, if I would mess up my releases I would be stuck and also certainly dead soon. We have agreed that after I have freed myself I would give them a notice about it. If I have not done this after six hours, then they know for sure that I am really stuck, and because this is serious I deserve a punishment. They would blindfold me and leave me as I am for the next four hours, regardless of the weekday, regardless of the time. It never happened!


4. The Game - Prelude

Eventually Mistress will say that the security-check is done. Now the play starts and I get down on my knees, head down, arms on my thighs, and wait. I have to add that I am already naked then. The waiting-time is chosen randomly between five to ten minutes.

Eventually Mistress orders me to get dressed. Immediately I am up and work myself into my skin-tight black latex catsuit. The catsuit has feet and thus all my body is covered except my head and my hands. I do not use a mask, because in a self-bondage game this is too dangerous. Even skin-tight things will move on a sweaty underground, and you are in real danger when the holes for the nostrils move away from their proper place. Then I put on red latex gloves. They look great, but they have the disadvantage that they make it (even) more difficult to fumble the key into the lock after my hands have been bound on my back for some hours. However, I do it still, because this way there will be no marks of my leather-manacles on my wrists, even if I would fight my bonds heavily.

After the catsuit is on and polished I put on red high-heels, height 5 inches, a red latex underbust corset, laced as tight as possible, and my so beloved black-leather muzzle-gag. While I put the gag on I bind my shoulder long blonde-dyed hair into a pony-tail, but I release the tail afterwards. I like it when my hair hangs into or sticks on my face from too much struggling, sweaty, somewhat annoying, maybe even tickling, reducing my sight, and with no ever chance to get it away. Every twitch or turn of the head to get it away then usually only makes it worse.

After I am dressed I hit enter on the keyboard, go down on my knees again and wait.

After five to fifteen minutes Mistress may either command me to start with the main session or she teases me - fifty-fifty chance - to drive me insane from arousal. Then she commands me to run my hands over my body, to touch myself, to play with my nipples, my inner thighs, my ass, my legs and my cunt. She may even order me to edge. And the latex increases the sensations with every move.

All these commands are given randomly, in a random interval of a half to two minutes. But when she says Stop I stop immediately and wait obediently.

My whole body is tingling, my nipples already tickled by sweat and the friction of the latex without even touching them, the same with all my other sensitive spots. I can feel my juices dribble down my inner thighs underneath the latex. Just a little motion without even touching sends shivers through me.

In my imagination then Mistress is already there, standing behind me, watching me, letting her riding-crop softly caress my back and my ass, applying little strokes there and then. I have never been a whippy girl, but while I was enslaved I have learned the pleasure of soft to medium hard strokes when they are applied modestly.

This bitter-sweet torture may last up to half an hour. Thus it may be that the prelude to the major part of the session has already consumed nearly an hour. When it really lasts for the full time-limit I am so worked up, so needy and already so light-headed that I would agree to everything if I only am allowed to have this orgasm. But of course I am utterly denied.

Eventually I am ordered to start with the major play, and the first thing I do then is to hurry to the fridge in the kitchen, fetch the glass-bin with the frozen back-up key, hurry back and fix it.


5. My Bondage Chair

My bondage-chair is made from steel and bought from a manufacturer that has specialized in this kind of furniture.

My feet do not touch the ground, I sit eight to nine inches above the floor, so even with five-inch heels on there is no ever possible way for me to reach down. My thighs rest on two comfortable leather-padded plates as long as my thighs, and of course there is space left in between for the mount that holds my so beloved Hitachi - right on my clit and my lips, right there where it has to be for a good-girl like me, for a bondage-toy like me, for a sex-toy like me.

The plates I sit on are parallel and thus my thighs are too. I cannot spread them when I would need it, I cannot close them when I would need it. Understand? Right!

After I have sat down I take off my corset, because with the corset on it is impossible for me to bow down to fix my ankles to the chair. I put leather-manacles around my ankles, lock them with small padlocks, bow down and fix them to the chair with some larger padlocks. Afterwards I stretch out my upper body as best as I can and put the corset back on. Due to years of corset training I achieve a waist reduction of nearly 6 inches.

Then I take the leather-bands and fix my thighs to the padded plates I am sitting on. The bands run around my thighs near my crotch and thus I am already fixed to the chair, and fixed to the Hitachi, with no ever chance to get away from it. All possible leverage from my legs is completely gone, my legs are nearly immobile. Just right!

Afterwards I put on manacles for my upper arms and take care that the D-rings are where they have to be, then manacles for my wrists. Four padlocks click shut and each click is such a sweet feeling that drives my arousal higher and higher and higher.

With all this done I am only a few steps away from heaven - and sometimes also from hell. But let me describe the rest of my bondage at first.

I am sitting in front a wall of the playroom, and behind me strong O-rings are fixed on the wall just at the right places. There is an O-ring maybe four inches above my shoulders, and a chain is dangling from it. To fix my upper arms I will take this chain, lead it through the D-rings of the manacles, lead it back through the O-Ring again and tow it down. It's a long chain, because I will need freedom to reach out for the laptop to start the main routine. The main routine, once started, has a count-down of five minutes to give me enough time to make me completely helpless. It's more than enough time, but you never know.

After I have started the main routine I reach behind me and lock both my wrists to a short chain that dangles from an O-ring on the hight of my butt. Thus, my arms are stretched out, but my wrists are also apart enough to be useful still. Click-Click-Shut and no way out anymore. But the upper arms are still to come. With my already chained hands I tow down the chain that is connected with my upper arms and so I bring my elbows as far together as possible (they are far from touching), and as it will be still endurable in a few hours. When I am satisfied with my arms I lock the chain to the O-Ring that also holds the chain to which my hands are locked. This way every important lock is close to each other and within easy reach!

Note that also my arms do not provide any leverage. And by the corset also my body is restricted in motion. Just as it should be!

This kind of bondage is easy to be done and absolutely inescapable. It took me quite some time to figure out this procedure, as simple as it may look like, it was not obvious to me in the first place. Or maybe I am just stupid.

It is always amazing which kind of feelings this last lock can cause, even when you are experienced. Before this last lock clicks shut I am already trapped with no way out, but this last lock nearly takes my arms away from me and completely seals my fate. Legs almost immobile, arms forced together and nearly immobile, no chance to ever escape the relentless vibrations of the Hitachi. It is still the rush of contradictory feelings from the times when I was only a bloody bondage-virgin. Even this "what have I done to myself" shows up. Crazy, isn't it?

But after this last lock has clicked shut I finally can let go completely, no rational thought is necessary anymore, all what had to be done with care is done, now I am completely this bound and gagged, helpless and defenceless, soon to be teased and denied, tortured, forced, used and abused bondage-toy and sex-toy that I want to be.

I start to test my bonds, start to struggle against them, wiggle as best as I can only to find that there is nothing I can do anymore, and this drives my arousal up into silliness. Just where I belong to, where I always wanted to be.

And then the countdown reaches zero!

Over time I have built a large palace up there in my heaven of pleasure and my hell of torment, and every session adds a new and different room, hallway, gallery or staircase to it. No session is equal. The laptop runs the same routines, but it's different each time. Sometimes I am more responsive, sometimes less, sometimes there is more pleasure involved, sometimes there is more torment. Sometimes I am not sure if I can stand it - soon after it has begun - sometimes I fantasize about to increase the maximum time-window. Each time it is different.


6. The Laptop and My Release

In front of my bondage-chair there is a table where the laptop stands on. Close, but completely out of reach. The Switchbox is connected to it, and also an external cd-drive. In the tray there a cord is fixed that will be released when Mistress opens the tray. This cord runs up vertically to an O-Ring in the ceiling, is lead through to another O-ring high above me on the wall.

The cord is connected with a chain, and on the upper end of this chain my release-key is securely locked on. The lower end of this chain but is connected to the O-Ring that also holds the chain for my upper arms. The chain with the key is adjusted exactly to a length that is long enough to reach it with my bound hands after it has fallen down. All padlocks I have used to bind my arms to the wall work with the same key, this key.

The purpose of this is easy to guess. The chain with the key will always fall down, gravity ensures it. And a chain will never break! With keys tied to cords it is almost sure, but I have performed experiments and found way to many obstacles that might occur.

Do never ever overestimate the weight of your key, do never ever underestimate the tendency of cords for unwanted knots or twists - they can show up where you never would expect them - do never ever underestimate the friction of a cord on metal, do never ever underestimate pulley-effects (extremely dangerous!), that can hinder the key on the cord from falling down from whatever it is hanging on! Simply spoken, pulley-effects can cancel gravity!

And even when, for some unforeseeable silly reason, the cord that is connected to the cd-drive would rip or break, the chain with the key will hold, it will fall down then and the release-key will be in my reach. Gravity ensures it, just because the weight of the chain is large enough. The possible problems with cords had always caused me headaches, but with this arrangement the only remaining risk is that the cd-tray does not open.

For this improbable case the glass-bin of my ice-release back-up is tightly taped to one leg of my bondage-chair. Tightly taped, because there eventually might come this mood, be a bondage-toy as much as you like, where you want out before time is up. The tight taping takes care that I cannot tow up the bin, smash the glass and the ice in order to get to the key. When you want out you would do everything for it, even when you know in the back of your head that this ruins all. But in such moments there is nothing you can do about it, the rational mind took over completely, the pleasure centre is down, and it takes some time to reboot it. They should invent something that can shut down this damn fucking rational mind for the time needed, a little bimbo-pill, available for everybody!

The key in the glass-bin is locked to a chain. This chain is locked to an O-ring within easy reach for my bound hands. Again, the chain cannot rip or break and the melting of the ice is ensured by heat-radiation.

By the way: the glass-bin of course has a cap in which I have cut a quadratic opening. The key easily fits through this opening, but it is impossible for me to pull the key with the ice through it once the melting process has begun.

The best choice for such a bin is a glass for marmalade or honey. Take one that is flat and broad.

Now the only remaining risk is that the padlocks do not work. It is impossible to remove this risk, but when you use high-quality padlocks - and this is a must - then the probability that this happens converges towards zero. Long ago, when I started to do self-bondage in earnest, I came to terms with myself that I am willing to take this risk. A life without play is no life either. At some point everybody has to make concessions.


7. The Game - Symphony

The main routine chooses randomly one scenario out of five. The main routine also chooses the time-window for the length of the session: minimum time is 2 hours, maximum time is four hours. I have no idea how long I will be trapped, because I am always ordered to take care that there is no clock around I could spy on. And I always obey Mistress' word because I am a good-girl.

Now some of you might think that a maximum of four hours is not sooooo much in the end. That's what I thought too. At first I had it three hours minimum and six hours maximum. And, stupid me, without doing some tests I greedily jumped right in. I never will forget this session, but it really was too much. I got around five hours - shit! As time goes by I am no twenty-four anymore, I am forty-four - and there is nothing I can do about it. I would give a lot if I would have had all this technical support available with twenty-four - sigh. I would have set it to eight hours!

Do not forget, this is all real here!! In fantasy I can spend twelve hours and in bondage and torture - but in real life, well... !

In the end the average session-time of the main routine is three hours, and that's a good compromise.

But also here things are different from session to session. It can be a torment when you only get a two hours session on a day where you easily could take more, but this also holds vice-verse. But I am a good-girl and take pleasure in whatever my Mistress gives to me or takes from me, as hard as it sometimes may be.

To have some entertainment in times where the Hitachi is off a collection of pictures of girls in bondage with a Hitachi between their legs is available. Out of this library every fifteen to thirty seconds a picture is chosen randomly and appears on the screen. The present library has six-hundred and sixty-four pictures, all downloaded from tumblr. Sad that they have closed down all these wonderful archives there.


7.1. Scenario I: Tease and Denial

Of course it is extremely hard to achieve a real tease and denial from a simple computer-Mistress, but, at least for me, I have found an acceptable solution.

I made measurements and did some research about my reactions - that was fun - and finally I came to the conclusion that the following scenario would work.

Inside a random time-window of two to sixty seconds the Hitachi switches on for two to twelve seconds, also randomly chosen. You think this is not much? You have no idea! Just imagine it: it may happen all sixty seconds for two seconds or it may happen all five seconds for twelve seconds - or whatever else combinations are possible. It's random!

Imagine it: bound, gagged and helpless as I am, worked up, aroused, maybe already silly from arousal - and I get just tiny pushes, ever so tiny pushes towards the edge - and I know right away from the beginning, when Mistress tells me that I will be teased and denied, that I will have no chance for relief. Just these tiny, completely irresistible but useless pushes towards the edge - or on the edge towards an orgasm that is completely out of reach. Maybe for two hours, maybe for four hours. Not the tiniest chance to get off! Just unbelievable pleasure and despair and wanting and needing.

And do not forget: vibrations on and off again is much more effective in driving you silly than vibrations constantly on. Even a greedy little clitty like my one will go numb from over-stimulation at some point. But on and off in small intervals means that the sensitivity increases, at least in my case. Think of the latex that rubs over my clit as a bonus, that rubs over my erect nipples with each move my body makes, inevitable, unstoppable! Think of the sweat underneath the catsuit that tickles down on my skin like touches, sometimes itchy and annoying, sometimes just right, sometimes just too much and maddening! Nothing I can do about it as to take it! So helpless, so defenceless, used, abused and forced. A toy, nothing more than a drooling, silly toy that would give anything for an orgasm! Just beautiful!

And now imagine it again! See? No way to get enough stimulation, no possibility to get away to end this torment of tiny pushes and to cool down, to just wait for the fucking key to drop. Just tease and denial as best as it can be done by a simple computer-Mistress.

Imagine yourself in my place! I am pretty sure that you girls (sorry men, no offence!) already feel what I mean down there! Right?

But a good-girl like me of course also gets her reward. When time is up there will be half an hour of constant stimulation. Yes, that's right, I can let it all out and orgasm after orgasm after orgasm will crash over me, shatter me, drown me, wash over me, rock me or however one can describe it. Irresistible, inevitable! Just imagine it! See? Right!


7.2. Scenario II: Drive You Silly Version I: All Just Random

This version actually was my first fantasy in this game since I have read Tina's Self Bondage story in the years 2001 or 2002, thus long ago, on a site that does not exists anymore. You find it as number nine here in this archive!

The routine is as easy as can be. Either number zero or number one is chosen randomly. If the new random number equals the old random number the program keeps going as it is, if else the following will happen: if the Hitachi is on it will switch off, if it is off it will switch on. The waiting time until a new random number is chosen lies between thirty seconds to two minutes. Easy, simple but very effective.

I have measured the average time until a switch occurs to roundabout three minutes. This is the effect of only two random numbers.

On the very large scale they will show up equally, but my game is no large scale. Thus, it may happen that e.g. the number zero is chosen, and chosen, and chosen again and again and again and the damn fucking Hitachi does just not switch on. The same but also can hold vice-verse, of course.

It is thus possible, and happened in test-runs I performed, that the Hitachi is off for half an hour.

And if you are bound and gagged as I am, thirty minutes can mean an ocean of time. This is also a reason why the program calls up pictures all fifteen to thirty seconds, because then I can be sure that everything works properly.

The same can of course happen in the other direction and then the Hitachi is on non-stop for this very half an hour. Such extreme periods happen rarely, but they happen - and they are of course meant to happen. Complete randomness. Compared to this my above tease and denial game may be somewhat more demanding, but it is also somewhat more predictable.

The complete randomness of this "Drive you silly" version allows nearly everything to happen. If I am lucky I get exactly my time to built properly, to edge and to orgasm, but when I am not so lucky I have good chances to get stuck on the edge, to have ruined orgasms (maddening worst case!), or even have enough time to cool down because the Hitachi is off for too long. And to cool down is something I really hate, because then thought comes back. I get bored, I feel my arms ache in their strict position and I struggle, but not in pleasure. And sometimes I want to be free - at once! This is vain of course, but it just happens, it's natural. I feel ignored, put away, a sad toy that is of no interest anymore. And then I struggle even more and grunt into my gag that keeps me almost mute. And of course this is all part of the intention.

Maybe the effects of helplessness and the latex on my nipples and clit turn me on again, maybe this annoys me even more, because I cannot stop these tiny but completely useless stimulations. And the more I struggle the more will they torment me in all their uselessness. Maybe I grind and rub my clit against the head of the Hitachi - useless, no leverage, no slack!

When the Hitachi then goes back on again it may take some time to get carried away by it's irresistible assault, and when I am back I hope so much that it will last long enough to get me over the edge. Please let me cum! And I laugh on my silly attempts to get out and even may curse myself that I have not tried to remain in the proper state of mind, that I have not listened to what my nipples have whispered to me. Maybe I get this orgasm, maybe not! Frankly spoken, it's much more likely that I do not get it! It's much more likely that I will be stuck on the edge or cool down again if the fate of randomness is against me on this day. Or the orgasm is ruined, because the Hitachi switched off just this one little second too soon! No one knows, because all this is random.

And now imagine yourself in my bonds, can you feel it? It's despair, utterly helpless despair, defencelessness. Compared to this the Mistress that relentlessly teases and denies me can be a caring one. At least she plays with her toy in a reliable way, with a clear goal, and I know that it's all for the best of me, because in the end I get all the orgasms that I do want and need so badly, for which I have been prepared for by endless cycles of tease and denial.

In this scenario but there is nothing of all this to be found!

But it is of course easy to get it right the other way. Long, maybe too long times of stimulation, interrupted by intervals just long enough to built up sensitivity again. And then the opposite holds. I hope so much that the damn fucking Hitachi will stay off for a little bit longer to have a chance again, a chance to built properly, to edge and to orgasm as I need it so much. Maybe I get it, maybe not. And while all this happens my nipples and the sweat that tickles over my skin drive me silly. And I want that damn fucking orgasm or out - at once! Slaves can be so funny, isn't it true?

Be assured, I get enough of all I want to be satisfied in the end, and when I lie in the warm waters of my bathtub afterwards I smile on everything and shake my head. All the time the psyche gets you into the same traps. I know it all too well, but there is no way around it when you are so helpless and so vulnerable, and in a state where time has no meaning. And it is good this way, because else I would have to design new scenarios all the time.


7.3. Scenario III: Drive You Silly Version II: A Good Balance

It very well may be that this is the kindest scenario I have designed. I thought that there should be at least one chance for a good balance of all what is possible.

I apologize in advance, but some details of this scenario are somewhat technical, and there is no way around this when you want to understand how it works.

In this scenario I work with four basic time-units, given by five seconds, ten seconds, twenty seconds and forty seconds. For each cycle they are chosen randomly. A cycle goes as follows. Say that the ten seconds unit has been chosen. This will switch on the Hitachi for ten seconds, and afterwards there is a waiting-time of ten seconds before the next cycle starts.

However, to make it more interesting, there is a multiplier that increases the length of the stimulation-time from cycle to cycle - but thus also the waiting-time.

Example: say that the first cycle was chosen to be twenty seconds on and thus twenty seconds waiting time, then the tenth cycle with the basic time-unit twenty seconds will already have a duration of sixty seconds, because the multiplier has grown from one to three. Thus, sixty seconds on, sixty seconds waiting-time. Got it?

The growth-rate of the multiplier goes like a square-root. Let n be the number of the cycle, then n^(1/2) is the growth-rate. For the next cycle take n = n + 1.

The program rounds the square-root down or up, and this effect further delays the growth of the rate.

All of you who think that this was Chinese just must know that this means a slow, steady and soft increase of the cycle-time.

To understand the slow growth-rate look at this: we restrict ourselves to the time-unit of twenty seconds now to make it easier. With this basic unit it takes already a quarter of an hour to reach the tenth cycle. This means that it takes fifteen minutes to increase the stimulation-time from twenty seconds to one minute! I hope you really got it now! At first this just works like tease and denial, but ever so slowly increasing, more and more irresistible, more forceful.

This scenario mixes my approach for tease and denial with ever, but slowly increasing stimulation-times and waiting-times, and thus provides me with the following: changing stimuli that increase my sensitivity, not too long and not too short in the beginning, fair chances to build and to keep on building during the waiting times, to edge and also to keep on edging during the waiting times. Orgasm comes eventually. But of course I am not safe. I still can get stuck on the edge, and I certainly have chances for ruined orgasms. But at least I can be sure that every new cycle might be the start of a new chance. I can close my eyes, give me away and just let it happen. Heaven!

Moreover, the slow but steady increase of the waiting-time avoids over-stimulation, and the slow but steady increase of the stimulation-time takes care of the growing physiological retardation of the response on stimuli. In short, this scenario is a very soft, caring and even loving route to forced orgasms - and eventually to more than I can take, but I simply have to. The mind rebels, but the body compels, as Tina has written it in her story. No chance of avoiding it, no chance of resistance. I am just carried along by the waves of the ever so slowly increasing cycles, nothing I can do about it, even when I think it is enough - better try to think, because in this state there is not much thought left. But enough is never enough. And thus, ever so slowly as the cycles increase, eventually also the torment kicks in will increase.

And all this again can lead to different results. In this scenario I can experience states of mind where I just ride the cycles in only some semi-conscious state that really might be subspace, but I also have experienced the sudden and urgent need to break out, because it is all too much and I cannot stand it anymore. And when this happens everything can happen. Maybe I dive down again after some vigorous but useless struggling, maybe a real torment starts where I just want to get away from this Hitachi, where I just want this damn fucking key to drop. Whatever will happen - all hot. And there we are again, helpless, defenceless, used and abused. Just right!

A girl out there who wants to play this? I would bet my freedom on it!

(Again sorry men, no offence!)


7.4. Scenario IV: Drive You Silly Version III: The Assault

This scenario is the evil variation of the foregoing scenario. Here I work with only one time unit, which is two seconds. Thus, the cycles are fast, very fast. It truly is an assault. The fast cycles create a very pressing urgency that is far beyond anything that is provided by the tease and denial scenario. The assault creates the illusion of continuous stimulation, but because of the short gaps in between the body-response, at least my one, is different. There is no tiring, no numbness and no over-stimulation in a physiological sense. You very well may feel that this would be the case, but indeed it is not. And your body will communicate this to you, if you like it or not!

Of course the on and off times increase slowly (square-root), which further reduces the risk of over-stimulation. Think about that: in the first hour I will experience around one-hundred and thirty cycles. One-hundred and thirty times on and off. The illusion of a continuous stimulation without it's negative side-effects. Each switch-on of the Hitachi let's me jump up as far as I can - not far indeed. This assault literally rocks my clit and only makes it more sensitive.

As this is much more urgent and intense than tease and denial, I will not only build, I will truly edge and I will cum, but with a high probability for a ruined orgasm. And we all know what this means. More frustration, more throbbing, more needing, more wanting, silliness, even more sensitivity of my sweet spot with no way out.

Wild struggling becomes natural, with all what is left from the powers of my heavily bound and utterly fixed body I try to grind vigorously, to rub myself against the vibe to get a real orgasm, but this is only a rare event. Not enough slack and no leverage, no chance to close or to spread my legs as I would need it, I am stuck! And with all this struggling and useless grinding my nipples are highly alert, rubbing against my catsuit, sweat tickles my skin, making it only worse, and worse and worse.

The effect of all this is also a separation of the time-scale. The Hitachi moves on a short and fast time-scale, while I move on a long and slow time-scale. The Hitachi is too strong to ignore it, but too fast to keep track with. The result is that I am stuck somewhere. Stuck on the edge and in danger of another ruined orgasm, stuck in a valley between two edges, another ruined orgasm just behind me and the more than urgent need to get a real one. Only one, please, only this one! I will do anything!

Imagine this, try to empathize - you have no idea! No other scenario makes me more into a drooling, silly toy than this one. Just right!

In no time I am heavily drooling and grunting, in no time I sweat more than in any other scenario, in no time I feel more spent than in any other scenario, more desperate, more needy, more helpless and defenceless. Not really even time to catch my breath, which is not easy anyway, because of my tight and strict corset.

Usually there are no thoughts about to get out of this, because I am hunting the few and rare real orgasms I can catch, I am too busy with this to even think of something else.

I tell you frankly, after I had tried this for one hour as a test I was so sure that I would not make it into a standard scenario. Too hard I thought to myself, probably really unbearable in the long run. But after I had slept it over I just smiled and said: Nah, don't be shy! Practice makes the master!

Are you brave enough to try this? Imagine it, try to imagine it! You have no idea what this can do to you.


7.5. Scenario V: Used, Abused and Ignored

Compared to scenario III this here might appear somewhat boring and rough, but it serves it's purpose. Scenario III is designed to open a friendly, balanced and caring route to forced orgasms, but this one will not do this. It is designed to create the illusion of being used, abused and ignored in between, just like a piece of meat. Not even a toy anymore, because a toy is still cared about.

The description is easy. The Hitachi switches on for fifteen minutes, then there is a pause of fifteen minutes, and so on. Just abuse and disregard.

The fifteen minutes are long enough to rip out some orgasms, the fifteen minutes pause is long enough to prevent over-stimulation, to restore sensitivity or even increase it, to feel my body ache in it's bonds, to cool down, to get bored, to want out. But nobody cares about me.

But all aching, all miserable thoughts vanish when the Hitachi kicks in again and forces me to cum and to cum. Some of these orgasms are not even combined with pleasure, they are just reactions on the assault that I have to endure. But my mind is still empty, no thoughts, just an abused and disregarded piece of meat.

Think about it! In the average three hours session this makes six-times assault and six-times boredom mixed with a desperate wish to get out. Quite a challenge, isn't it? All as it should be!

Want to try? Brave enough? Three hours?

But when it is over Mistress will take me in her arms and tell me that all this has given her utmost pleasure, and thus it is also my pleasure, because I am a good-girl!

Have I already said that my nipples and my clit are pierced? Not yet? Now you know. Of course this add-on increases all effects significantly. Finally I was brave enough to get these piercings.


7.6. The End of the Session

Eventually Mistress tells me that she will release me now. The cd-tray opens, the key drops and I take a breath as deep as my corset allows it. I am exhausted and my body aches, but I also drift in some kind of strange afterglow I have no words for. Maybe I just slowly climb up the ladder into the real world again.

Usually I do not start to fumble with the key immediately, I still need some time. The key is there, and this is all I need to know so far.

I try to move my body as best as I can, open and close my hands in order to get some more circulation, to get over the stiffness.

When I think that I have my hands fully back I start with the key. First I open the lock that I had closed last, the lock that fixes the chain that holds my upper arms. What a relief to have them back, to spread my elbows and to roll my shoulders again. This feeling is nearly as good as it feels when I close the locks.

After some more breaths and a few more rolls of my shoulders I manage to open the locks that fix my hands, and I am free again.

Then I remove the manacles on my wrists and my upper arms.

I remove the corset and the bands that fix my thighs to the plates I sit on, then I bow down to release my ankles.

When I leave the chair I am a little shaky, but who would wonder about that? And there is also a very dominant feeling between my legs that I call the echo. I think that this does not need any more explanation.

There is only one thing left now. I get down on my knees - easier said then done with shaky legs - thank my Mistress, hit enter, and then it's over.

With a deep sigh I struggle myself to my feet again, take my heels off and leave our playroom.

In the bathroom then it becomes very comfortable. Katrin, our slave-girl, awaits me in her maids attire and cannot help but to grin broadly. I grin too, of course. Then she peels me out of my catsuit. Inside the catsuit it is of course sticky and messy, but it is also warm and comfy, and thus I feel cold immediately. But all is ready for me. My warm bath is prepared and I glide into the bathtub. Ah! Wonderful!

I never asked how they can know that I am done. Maybe they spy at the door to the playroom, maybe they secretly have installed cameras and enjoy the show. Shall they, as long as I find my bath prepared.

Katrin leaves me alone again to take care of the catsuit, but she has left something for me, the one thing that I now need more than anything else on this world, my cigarettes and a glass of red wine.

And there in my bathtub, luxuriating in warm water, inhaling deep, I feel completely at rest, I feel a peace and a bliss that no money on this earth can buy.

In the end, it is this pleasure and bliss of complete peace why we really play all this. Right?


8. Coda

So this are the games I play with myself. I have told you in the introduction that this is more of a report mixed with my imaginary Mistress than a story, but you read it until here and thus it must not have been all too bad. Maybe you found some ideas for yourself, maybe not.

I tell you frankly that I was not really sure if I should publish this at all. Why, I asked myself, why have you even written it down? You know all this, so why describe and summarize it? It's not even a story!

Maybe this report does not find the same and flattering interest as my other stories have found so far, but hey, if only one reader can get something out of it, it's already worth publishing.

Maybe there is a girl out there who looks for the same things I have looked for so long, for so very, very long! Something like SexScripts, something like the Switchbox. Something that can be handled and employed without being an electronic engineer. So why not help or even inspire her? (Sorry guys, no offence again!). Just like Tina has done with me back then! Eventually this girl might find this little report. Okay I thought to myself, let's give it a try.