Author's Note: Greetings fellow BDSM enthusiasts, I'm a long time lurker and first time poster. Although I've been writing/roleplaying extensively throughout my inception into the BDSM culture, I figured it's about time I started sharing some of my bizarre ideas for all you lovely kinky folks to enjoy. I haven't anything else to add, except that I'd like to thank the fantastic Ty M Goode for his wonderful stories and overall influence in my writing, and that I look forward to writing more stories in the future. So please enjoy, and let me know what you think in the comments. Thanks! ^3^

Chapter 1

Have you ever gotten stuck in the buttfuck middle of no where after deciding you deserve a nice long getaway from the hectic or mundane lifestyle you lead? Patricia certainly thought so, hell she took two weeks off just so she could travel halfway across the country side to get as far away from civilization as possible. But, as always in Patricia's case, such fundamentally basic delights come at a cost in one form or another. Her current predicament being that she was literally stranded with little to no cell connection, absolutely no munchies, and missing all but one stupid fan belt to keep her Mazda X-7 from getting her to the secluded cabin in the woods she'd rented for this exact getaway.

"Just my damn luck!"

Patricia said in that sultry southern tone of hers as she kicked the rear tire with her sandal-clad foot out of pure irritation, which she instantly regretted after appropriately stubbing her toe.

"Rrrgh... Good grief!"

Patricia hobbled around her car to walk the pain off, and to take her mind off this absolutely terrible, to-good-to-be-true situation she'd gotten herself into. And although she certainly didn't mind getting away from her field work and the overabundance of paperwork, this wasn't exactly what she had in mind when she said she be soaking up the sun all week before autumn reared its ugly head, because right now she'd like a bit of air conditioning so she could cool off from being under the big, hot sweltering sun. But Patricia being the ever ill-tempered damsel in distress that she is, ended up throwing her keys somewhere south into the stocks of wheat by the roadside. Which in hindsight wasn't best coarse of action, but at least she left her doors unlocked so she could catch a little shade in her car.

However, you know that saying 'what can go wrong will go wrong'? Well Patricia's notorious for having those kinds of days. And it was no surprise when she went to go open her drivers door the automatic locking system timed out and literally theft-proof'd Patricia out of her own vehicle. It wasn't until she gave all the doors a try she figured out just where she went wrong, and was now mentally kicking herself for tossing her keys earlier as she rested her forehead and those overbearing mounds of fabric clad knockers she called breasts against the cool exterior of the passenger side window.

Yeeeees sirree, there is truly nothing better then melting beneath the bald headed prairies very own scolding hot summer sun. And even working up a sweat without exerting oneself physically, so much so you could almost see the cartoonish sized sweat in the form of dew drops upon ones very own bustiere. Fortunately for Patricia, she was no stranger to working up a sweat and her physique proved that thanks to the sheer toneage of her sleek slender ebony legs and those semi-muscular forearms of hers. Not to mention the lack of any body fat in general, especially in terms of her drum tight tummy that casually glistened from over exertion whenever she ended up finishing her scheduled circuit at the gym. But instead of wearing her usual micro fiber sports bra or short shorts, she'd dolled herself up in one of her favourite dresses. Or... only dress for that matter, considering that in her line of work, dresses weren't very professional. This one however, looked charming as could be as it hung a few inches above her knees while the blush pink fabric clung to her shapely figure with pastel magenta and indigo flowers encircling the dress, before fading away beneath the leathery belt wrapped around her midsection so all that could be admired was Patricia's deep busty cleavage which was barely held aloft by the flimsy spaghetti straps hanging over her shoulders.

Patricia would truly be a sight to behold for any passerby, if there were any on the road that is. Instead she subjected herself to twiddling her thumbs and blowing loose stands of Burgundy thick hair from her sweaty brow as she glanced into the passenger side where her phone and the mouthwatering bottle of boutique spring water that she'd literally considered breaking her own windows over just so she could wet her whistle. This was a last case scenario however, and by the time she found a rock big enough to break her window somebody was bound to show up.

Speaking of which, it seemed Patricia's luck had finally taken a turn for the best as she spotted somebody hurtling their vehicle down the dirt road. So Patricia took it upon herself to stand steadfast in its way and wave it down as the fast approaching rust bucket of an auburn coloured El Camino came to a rock-kicking stop right in front of her, with only a few feet to spare.

"THIS ROAD AIN'T GONNA DRIVE ITSELF PRINCESS, NOW SHOVE OFF OR GET WRECKED!"

The redneck driver called out unabashedly, which in turn made Patricia shake her baffled city slicker head because she was unacquainted with the neighborly folks this side of the country. Still, a rides and ride when your cars broken down but Patricia decided to meet the good Samaritan face to face before making any callous decisions out of desperation, so she leaned into the passenger side with her hands on her knees as she crouched to peer inside and was surprised to find a greasy, pot bellied women in her late fifties.

"Oh, uhm, g'evenin stranger. I was just wondering if you'd be so kind to give me a lift to the next town ov-"

"MMMHM... YOU ONE FINE LOOKIN' BROAD AIN'T CHA SUGA? YOU FANCY YER FELLOW WOMANLY KIN? CAUSE I SUUURE WOULDN'T MIND SITTIN' ONE THEM PRETTY LIPS OF YOURS SISTA, HEH HEH~"

Patricia grimaced and stepped away from the car while covering up her goodies as she watched the older woman lick her lips in a provocative, an lustful manner. And instead of hopping in, she opted to stay put but thanked the driver none the less before the driver started cursing her out while driving into the distance to the next pig squealing competition... Probably.

'You have /got/ to be kidding me.' thought the long legged ebony beauty as she leaned against her car in defeat, no sure if she made the right decision or not. Cause, in all honestly, she could have easily laid that filthy ol' hag out whenever they ended back in town. But Patricia swore an oath before she set out on her getaway that she wouldn't get physical with anybody. And that meant sexually too, especially in this case. All she wanted was a nice, clean couple of weeks to herself by the lakeside with a pitcher of rum infused lemonade and good book. And such worldly desires wouldn't have to wait very long, because Patricia was fed up with waiting. And in her books, taking a rock to your own cars window isn't considered getting physical, it was called oh-my-god-I'm-so-thirty survival tactics.

So without further ado, she scavenged the roadside for an ample looking boulder that'd give her just what she was looking for. Instead, she found empty, scrunched up cans of beer and all sorts of debris, and nothing remotely large enough to aid her in her time of need. So she sulked back to her car as the sun kissed the horizon, leaving the air humid and sticky to the point Patricia thought of fetching her sweater puppies out from her dress to let 'em breathe a little. Buuut wasn't sure if she liked the idea of getting spotted topless by the roadside. Or getting spotted by a ice cream trunk gradually trucking down the dirt road.

Instantly Patricia's eyes lit up as she watched the ice cream truck with a fake swirly ice cream cone on top make its way towards her. Was this some kind of surreal heat stroke episode? Or maybe she had grown unconscious and was dreaming? She pinched herself to make sure, and then waved her arms frantically to get the trucks attention. Though she realized how strung out that might make her look, and instead decided to wait patiently as it approached with the music box-like tunes spilling out from the speakers before rolling to halt.

The side of the truck was labeled 'Swirlies Treats and Such Inc.' with bubbly personified popsicles, waffle cones, and ice cream sandwiches, and it looked about as out of place here in the middle of no where as a fox in a hen house. But that didn't stop Patricia from nearly drooling all over her chest as a strand of spittle hung from her bottom lip before she quickly sucked it back into her mouth as the large side door coiled up and revealed the inner workings where a fellow dressed in an apron with the companies logo on the front stood about as ominously as an ice cream truck driver could to a parched and stranded country drifter.

"Yes, finally, pleas-"

"Hi there! Welcome to Swirlies, what can I get for you?"

"Okay cool, but seriously, I really rea-"

"We have a wide selection of tasty treats for you to choose from. My personal favourite is the Swirly Swirly Chocolate Coated Vanilla Swirlies Ice Cream Cone with Rainbow Sprinkles and Brownie Crumble."

The blonde haired, and blue eyed boy grinned cheerfully down at Patricia as she wiped her sweaty brow of any loose strands of hair so she didn't look like a total mess in front of this dorky salesman as she thought he looked like he was fresh out of junior high, or barely old enough to let alone drive. Regardless, she figured she might as well just blurt it all out before he interrupted her again.

"Look, mycarisbrokenandIthrewmykeysintothefieldofwheatsonowI'mlockedoutofmycar... So please, can I have something to drink or a ride to the next town?!"

The boy folded his arms and cocked his head to the side before asking.

"Sooo... What you're saying is that you don't have your wallet or any money on you?"

"What? Yes, of coarse I do! Well... Not on me exactly, it's in my car."

And with that said the boy ceremoniously shrugged and closed the side door without another word before it started rolling forward at a leisurely pace while playing a music box version of Move Bitch (Get Out the Way) as if he was trying to irritate her more then she already was.

Patricia let a pent up groan of frustration slip past her lips as she went to go kick her cars rear tire again. And she almost did, before something latched around her ankle and drug her backwards and face first (Or chest first, in Patricia's case) towards the ground where she was lazily dragged along before another appendage reached out from the truck and grabbed her other ankle and pulled her along.

"Ooofph! ... He-hey! Rrrrgh! What the hell are you... Gggrgh... Doin?!"

Patricia yelled as she struggled to lift herself up off the ground while kicking and jerking her legs wildly to free herself. Instead, it only made the arms reel her in faster as the metallic appendages coiled into the back of truck till Patricia was getting her feet lifted up and fed inside a port hole just wide another for somebody the size of Patricia to fit through. Still she struggled all the same as the arms sucked her inside until the underside of her overbearing mounds of titty flesh left her upper body stuck outside, giving her enough time to call for help.

"HELP! ANYBODY, SOMEBODY JUST HELP MMMmmmfffgh!!!"

Her pleas were quickly silenced by another appendage filling her gaping piehole with a spongy textured ball which quickly started growing in diameter till only a quarter of the teal blue sponge was sticking out past her over stretched lips, and where her bicuspids tried there damnedest to decrease the painful size of the sponge by biting into the material, but that only made it inflate further to the point she had to scrunch her eyes shut as she was forced to hold such an excruciating, and painstakingly long drawn out yawn she wouldn't soon forget.

By now the appendage that had fulfilled its duty silencing their target, it was now ordered to push upon her head first into the port hole to finish the job. Patricia was aware of this and tried pulling the infernal contraption from her noggin, doing her best to resist as she was being inched further and further inside all while screaming at the top of her lungs for anyone to save her but her pleas merely whistled out from her sponge filled maw.

What Patricia wasn't aware of, were the brushes that started scrubbed along her bare feet. Making damn well sure that all eight inches of her feet her treated to only the finest hair brushes 'Swirlies INC.' had to offer. This of coarse made Patricia lose her grasp around the arm pushing her inside and ended up making her slam both fists down onto outer side of the truck as she kicked about to try and defend her overly sensitive feet from the ravaging brushes that had descended upon her. Soon she started getting real angry, and then she started laughed uncontrollably, she even started laughing so hard her eyes welled up with tears while her breasts were forced to dragged along the edge of the port hole and inner tube till all that was left thinking out were her outstretched arms.

"Whhahit WHAAHIT!! Nho.. NHhnnohh..NNNNFFFFFGHHHhhhhh.... hgh!!!"

Patricia whined as the mechanical appendage lifted her fingers up one at a time from the rim of the port and then made a gesture with its claw as if it were waving goodbye before closing the hatch to leave her in total and utter darkness while more brushes slowly descended from what seemed like every direction to give her own sweaty... sticky... hot-and-bothered limbs the scrubbing she never knew she deserved. And for no one to hear her cry as she endured the gauntlet of Swirlies very own 'The Brush an' Tickle 2000' invention.

And while Patricia was kept below deck, the ice cream truck just kept on truckin' down the dirt road like it were some twisted country tune, leaving her car in the dust for some rednecks to salvage while the truck gradually rolled towards the next town over... However, a quick twenty minute drive would be have to be a leisurely couple of hours, after all they're only going thirty kilometers an hour, and they wouldn't wanna miss another stranded roadside beauty.