Author's Note: If you've read my earlier story, "Self-imposed Punishment" (Please do; it'll provide valuable background that will help you to better understand what I've written here), you know the drill at my house: in order to cum, I must first suffer by the cock and balls. Intense application of electroshock is the punishment of choice.

Two things on which I unfortunately didn't elaborate in that last story are the self-bondage method that I employ and the excruciating pain that I endure as I struggle to free myself. Those omissions I hope to rectify here.


Prologue

Set firmly into a ceiling joist in that special little room that I call the Chamber is a half-inch screw eye. From where I sit on the stool in the center of the room I can easily reach the "eye" or "ring" protruding from the ceiling. Since it required considerable elbow grease applied to the end of a long steel bar to thread the screw home, however, there is no way on earth that I could possibly remove it using just my hands. Believe me; I've tried.

Yes, the ring is sturdy, immovable, as are similar rings screwed into the walls at baseboard level on either side of the Chamber. It is to those two rings that my ankle cuffs are typically padlocked. The room is roughly four feet wide, so during a session, my legs are uncomfortably and helplessly spread.

The most significant component of my bondage, though, and the one that I'd like to highlight here, is a cluster of knotted ropes divided into three strands, each one secured in turn to the ring overhead. The setup is elegant in its simplicity and while not particularly high-tech, is nonetheless exceedingly effective. Each strand of twenty knots is merely a series of half hitches, tied in such a manner that at its bottom are two loops of rope, one to be padlocked to my left wrist cuff and the other to my right.

For some time now, there have been three strands of knotted rope hanging from that ring. At first it took me quite a while to untie all 60 knots. Also in my frantic effort to release myself and turn off the shocker, one or more of the ropes always seemed to get tangled, making for a sometimes scary-and always painful-10-minute session. With practice, though, I became much more adept at untying the knots. On my last trip to the Chamber, for example, I was able to get loose in less than seven minutes. As I quickly leaned over and pushed the shocker switch to "OFF", I was relieved, even elated.

Shortly afterward, however, when I would normally have been stroking myself to a well-deserved orgasm, I began to feel guilty. I knew in my heart that I hadn't paid a high enough price for that climax, so I denied myself the pleasure. Resolving to suffer properly the next time, I immediately retied the knots and added two more strands to the ring. Before leaving the room, I also increased the voltage on the shocker.


Anticipation

For the next several days I was out of town on business. Early in the morning on the last day of my trip, I was sitting at the desk in my hotel room. As is my custom when I'm on the road, I was jerking my cock to Internet porn and I was really getting into it. Not wanting to be late for my first appointment, though, I glanced at the time on my laptop-6:00 a.m. On the screen above the clock, a pretty redhead was lying back with her legs spread wide. She was looking into the camera and the middle finger of her right hand was gently tracing the outline of her pussy through her panties.

Just then it occurred to me that around that time the next morning I'd likely be viewing the same kind of scene but that my circumstances would be much different. Instead of sitting there comfortably playing with myself, I'd be in bondage and my cock and balls would be wired to the shocker. I'd be faced with the awful choice of whether to abandon my principles and just untie the knots or to pull the switch cord and fry like the slut that I am. It's a tough decision but I always choose the shocker. You see, part of me really wants the pain-that searing, crushing pain that is my just payment for the pleasure of orgasm. As hot as I was right then, I was actually looking forward to it.


Atonement

The very next day I knelt naked in the chamber. Cuffs were already in place about my wrists and ankles, my leather slave collar was buckled around my neck and a locking penis gag filled my mouth. I was ready-very ready-to make up for getting off so easy the last time.

On the screen in front of me a lovely brunette was slowly raising the hem of her skirt. She was wearing thigh-high stockings and, as I recalled, a pair of tight thong-style panties. Once uncovered, those panties would clearly outline (but also hide) the tempting cleft between her luscious thighs.

I knew that it would be quite a while before that thong came off and her pussy came into view. There was plenty of time for the slut in the Chamber to finish preparing himself for punishment. I watched intently as the skirt rose past her stocking tops, allowing me my first glimpse of the smooth and delicate flesh above them.

On the floor near my knees lay a six-foot length of black rawhide lace with a 4-inch diameter single overhand loop tied in the center. Just before the woman's skirt reached her panty crotch, I pressed the "Pause" button on the DVD player. I reached down, picked up the lace and slipped the loop over my cock and balls. I pulled on the lace at either side of the loop, drawing the loop down snugly around my sex. The effect was much like that of a cock ring, letting blood flow easily into the cock but restricting its passage backward.

I looked up at the screen and pushed "Play". Immersed in the scene unfolding before me, I slowly stroked my cock, every so often adjusting the rawhide loop, tightening it and pushing it closer to my body. I felt my arousal build and my cock begin to stiffen. I pulled the loop tighter and pushed it firmly against my pubic bone. The loop was now in that sweet spot at the very base of the cock. Tying a member off in that location binds it permanently erect, making it incredibly sensitive and a fine conductor of electricity. It also puts it in grave danger. Tightly binding an erect cock (and the swollen balls beneath it) effectively cuts off the circulation. Left bound that way for too long, a slut could incur serious damage and perhaps altogether lose his precious genitals. I was aware of that but I remained undaunted.

To be honest, I personally find it incredibly compelling and, yes, highly erotic to put myself in a situation where through my own folly I might actually lose my genitals. You see, the risk of disaster, with its accompanying adrenaline rush, is part of the overall draw. In a way, it's a little like rock climbing or race car driving, with the added benefit that the whole process is sexually charged. I figure that if I do end up one day castrating myself, it will likely be at the end of a long and very wild ride, one comprising elements of both extreme pleasure and intolerable pain.

I continued looking at the woman on the screen, while ever-so-gently running my fingers up and down the length of my cock, striving to reach maximum hardness without pushing myself over the edge. Just as the woman's skirt reached her waist, I had the cock just how I wanted it-firm and throbbing but in no danger of spewing its juice.

Again I pressed "Pause". I riveted my eyes on that telling indentation in the front of her panties and viciously jerked the loop closed around my cock and balls. I then passed the free ends of the lace underneath my balls, did another overhand loop and jerked that one tight. Working quickly, I followed that with four more overhand loops-one on top of the balls, one on top of the cock, one underneath the cock and another on top of the cock . Over this last one I tied a square knot, sealing the deal. I then brought the ends of the cord around my waist and tied them together at the small of my back.

The visual effect was impressive. My cock was perfectly rigid and, like a teenager's, stood proudly out from my body. My balls, too, were firm, the pair almost a single sphere in their bondage. It was time.

I reached for the ball electrode, a roughly six-inch by one inch strip of shiny brass bent into a horseshoe shape and connected at its ends to a ring of conductive elastic. I slipped this unit over my balls, pushing the elastic ring as far on as it would go. As expected, the metal strip pressed into the surface of the balls, making for good electrical contact.

The cock electrode came next. Although similar in design to the one for the balls, it is somewhat smaller and made entirely of brass. Its securing ring is made to fit just behind the glans of the penis and is closed with a captive bolt and wing nut. The strip that passes over the top of the glans is fitted with a ¾" chrome-plated urethral plug.

This assembly I fitted to the head of my cock, shoving the urethral plug home. The securing ring was tight around my fully erect member and there was pain as I turned the wing nut to close it. I disregarded that minor discomfort, knowing that it paled in comparison with what was to come. A few more turns of the wing nut and the electrode was locked in place.

Satisfied that the electrodes were properly fitted, I half stood and then squatted over the dildo stool. Gradually I lowered my ass onto the dildo. I felt my anus stretch around the tip and then open wide to accept its full girth. I sat down on the stool and the dildo slid inside me.

I then bent to the right and locked my right ankle cuff to the ring on the wall. I did the same on my left. Next I connected the leads from shocker to the plugs on the cock and ball electrodes and, reaching forward, pressed the "Play" button.

The woman on the screen was slowly unzipping her skirt. I knew from memory that within a few seconds that skirt would drop to the floor. The woman would kick it aside, run her hands over her thighs and then slide a finger between her legs, massaging her clit through her panties. A few seconds later, she would turn around and bend over with her lovely ass to the camera.

I looked up at the open padlocks dangling from the knotted ropes above me--one hundred knots! I was well aware that untying them within the allotted period would be a formidable task. As twisted and convoluted as the mass already was, one or more of the ropes would surely tangle. Dealing with those tangles would take an inordinate amount of time, perhaps more time than my well-bound genitals would have. I would need to work slowly and methodically or suffer the consequences.

Of course that was always my predicament-whether to go slowly and carefully to help ensure that the ropes didn't tangle or to try to hasten the process and run the risk of prolonging my ordeal. With the pain of the shocker commanding my attention, it was often tough to make the right choice.

I glanced again at the screen. The woman had dropped her skirt and her finger was deep in her cleft. She was looking straight at the camera. She gave half a smile, almost as though she knew the effect she was having on me and what I was about to do.

I looked down at my cock and balls. Hanging hard and wired between my outspread thighs, they looked primed and ready for punishment. I'd made them that way. I'd played with myself while watching the woman strip. I'd hardened my cock and then, in the heat of passion, tied off my sex, wired it up and connected it to the shocker.

Seeing my handiwork reminded of what a slut I was and why I was there. I reached up and slipped the shackle of one of the open padlocks through the D-ring on my left wrist cuff. Very deliberately I closed the lock, listening to it snap shut. I then did the same on the right.

Just then the woman on the screen turned away from the camera and slowly bent forward. My heart pounded in my chest. I was about to fry! I took one last, quick look at my helpless cock and, as I'd done so many times before, glued my eyes to the screen.

The cord to the shocker switch was now in my hand. I waited. I saw her slip her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and gradually draw them down over the firm globes of her ass. Moments later, she slid the panties all the way to her knees, fully exposing her pussy. I stared hard at the treasure before me-and pulled the cord.

In but a second I was screaming into my gag as the electricity tore through my genitals. Like vise jaws lined with red-hot, vibrating needles, the current gripped my cock and balls, shook them-hard-and then released them, only to return four seconds later with a vengeance. Four seconds on and four seconds off: that was the schedule, one that would repeat itself over and over again. I'd suffer that way until I'd untied the last knot and was able to turn off the shocker. I was paying my debt.

Wide-eyed and still screaming with every jolt, I undid the first few knots. The initial ones were easy; there wasn't much rope to pull through. As I got farther along, however, dealing with all the extra rope slowed my progress and there was an increasing chance that it would tangle.

I was diligent, though, and soon I had worked through all twenty knots in the first strand. Along the way, I'd taken somewhere between twelve and fifteen shocks. I'd already lost count. Each time one would hit, I'd have to stop for a few seconds and regroup, gathering strength by watching the naked woman posing on the screen. That of course added time to the session but I couldn't help it; the pain was otherwise just too much to endure.

I got through the second strand in like manner. By that time, however, I'd become tired of the nagging pain and for the last minute or so had been working more quickly. At knot ten or eleven I was absorbed in the image on the screen and when I pulled hard on the rope to untie it, it didn't budge. I looked up just as another shock ripped through my genitals. I saw that I hadn't completely untied the previous knot and now the one that I'd been working on was jammed. To my horror, the ropes above me were a tangled mess. Right then I wasn't sure that I could ever sort them out, much less within the next several minutes.

I looked down at my cock, which was already turning a dark shade of red. I knew that if I didn't get some circulation to it soon, I could kiss that fellow goodbye. I renewed my efforts and over the next two or three minutes (which of course were punctuated with numerous jolts to my sex), I was successful in untangling the ropes.

I finished that strand and the next, still wincing with every shock. Now, though, the pain was different, more like a bee sting than the hot, gripping agony that I'd earlier experienced. This loss of feeling was expected; it was the direct result of a lack of circulation. My genitals were becoming numb.

Not wanting to chance another tangle, I untied the last twenty knots in a very methodical fashion. When the last knot was loose, the first thing I did was to lean forward and turn off the shocker. I then removed the electrodes and untied my cock and balls, which by now were almost purple and cold to the touch. When I removed the last loop of cord from my sex, I was pleased to note that the feeling started to return. I resolved then and there that the next time I visited the Chamber, I would suffer harder but for a somewhat shorter period. With that, I grasped the shocker's voltage control and rotated it clockwise.

At that point I really didn't feel like cumming. In fact, I was pretty exhausted. What I really wanted was a long, hot shower-and sleep. It was Saturday, so I'd have plenty of time to rest. I stood up and left the Chamber. I'd retie the knots later that day. Then I'd jerk off.


Epilogue

When I awoke from my nap, an idea came to me that would profoundly influence my future sessions in the Chamber. The concept was so incredibly simple that I was astounded that I'd not thought of it before. I got up and right away went downstairs, retied the knots as planned and set about making some changes.

For reference, I'd been wishing for some time that there were a way to give myself no choice about whether or not to pull the shocker switch cord. What occurred to me that morning solved the problem.

Normally I'd run the switch cord upward from the shocker, pass it through the ring in the ceiling and let the end dangle within easy reach of my bound hands. That morning I merely rerouted the cord. I sank a small screw eye into the top front of the dildo stool and then replaced the switch cord with a long loop of cord that was roughly the same length (about six feet) as the original. After connecting the tied end of the loop to the shocker switch, I ran its closed end through the screw eye on the stool. Then I tied a smaller loop in the very end of that closed portion and fitted that small loop with a padlock. I closed the padlock around the shackle of one of the two locks hanging from the cluster of knotted ropes above the stool.

That left the switch cord with just enough slack to allow me to fasten my wrist cuffs to the knots without tripping the switch. Raising my hands to untie those knots would, on the other hand, undoubtedly bring the shocker to life and cause my cock and balls to fry.

To ensure that I'd begin frying early in the session, I wrapped a length of stout rope around the hanging strands of knots. Starting at the bottom, near the padlocks, I moved upward, making several turns around the bundle and finishing up with a square knot just below the ring in the ceiling. There would be no way I could untie any of the knots without first reaching up to remove the wrappings. In doing so, I'd surely throw the switch.

The prospect so excited me that I immediately dropped to my knees and turned on the DVD player. Gazing at the woman whom I'd watched while suffering earlier that morning, I furiously masturbated. I emptied my balls into a waiting shot glass and, still panting, drained the glass into my mouth and sluttishly licked it clean.

Looking up at the new arrangement, I figured that my next visit to the Chamber would be truly memorable.