The Meaning of Desperation
  • Author - Katherine Travis
  • Rating -   
  • Site Rank - 273 of 2955
  • Story Codes - F-f, consensual, armbinder, bondage, chastity, games, public, toys
  • Post Date - 7/12/2013

Author's Note: I read all comments.


If she could have spoken she would be berating herself, loudly. The thick rubber phallus filling her mouth stopped almost any sound, and it was held in place by the stretchy vinyl hood that covered everything but her nose and eyes, her long blonde hair poking through a hole in the back. The most noise she could make was an exasperated huff. Carrie's thoughts were a blur, as they usually were for the first half hour or so after her tormentor finished with her, but one kept coming to the surface. Why do I keep letting her do this to me?

Years before she had been the typical half-starved student trying to put herself through college. She could make enough money working between classes to afford food, shelter, or tuition, but not all three at the same time. It had been at a local food pantry that she had seen the ad posted on a bulletin board for a live-in caretaker. It had certainly seemed far too good to be true, but she called the number anyhow and soon had her room and board paid for, with time to study and work part time as well. The care taking part was rather unusual, but she had felt that she could adapt to anything that would let her finish her degree within four years, and then move on to chalk it up to experience.

And what an experience it turned out to be. As her thoughts began to settle she came to the same conclusion she always did. Because I have the freedom to do as I please, once it's all over. It was the truth. Room and board had turned into a paycheck, then an expense account as well. All she had to do was..


A few years earlier

Carrie searched the road for any address numbers as the rain continued to pour down. She was late and she hated being late for anything. Fear that she might blow this opportunity nagged at her as her car splashed through deep puddles on the dirt road. "There" she said to herself, "1730, that's the place". Pulling into the drive she could see the lake across the yard, and several large flower beds spread across the expansive grounds. She parked off to the side of the carport, unsure if she should assume the right to park in the shelter.

The door was answered by a pleasant man of about middle age, who introduced a woman as soon as she was inside the foyer. It turned out that Myra was slightly older than Robert, but she had the fully blossomed beauty of a woman years younger, with none of the sharp edges of youth. Myra took her to a breakfast nook off the kitchen with a wonderful view of the lake while Robert brought tea and a plate of cookies for them. She had thought it odd that he stood off to the side of the room as she spoke with Myra, but didn't learn why until weeks later. Myra was the power in this relationship. Indeed, her tall, black-haired grace allowed her to command most relationships that involved men, and many women as well. Robert was a bit thin, but fit and always a gentleman.

"You understand, Carrie, that we must have complete secrecy, or the deal is off." It wasn't a question, though the strength Myra put into the words had Carrie nodding her head before she was finished speaking them.

"Yes, it's seems like a good deal for me, and I'm willing to give it a try," she replied.

"Then let's go over it one more time just to be certain," Myra said as she smiled.

Robert picked up the clipboard on which he had been scribing notes as the women spoke and began to recount the details".

"Carrie shall have full use of the house when Myra is not present", Carrie noticed that Robert's name wasn't included at all, "and Carrie shall have a private bedroom at all times, not matter who occupies the house."

Robert looked to both women and proceeded when both had nodded their agreement.

"Myra will set up an account for groceries and other sundries for Carrie's use in keeping the house well stocked at all times." Again the pause for a nod.

"All cleaning and yard work will be taken care of by Myra's staff, with the exception of any voluntary gardening, cooking or cleaning by Carrie, for which there will be no additional compensation."

"Compensation at this time is limited to Carrie's food and housing needs, with no money offered."

At this point Robert paused to clear his throat and Carrie noticed he was blushing slightly, while Myra was calm and collected.

"Carrie's commitment to earn these privileges will occur at least twice monthly, but not more than eight times in any 30 day period," Carrie was suspecting that Robert had a law degree by now, "and proper notice will be given to allow Carrie to adjust her schedule."

Again he cleared his throat, now obviously nervous. "Robert", Myra scolded, "give me that and go sit in the other room." He quickly handed her the clipboard and walked away, but Carrie could see the embarrassment he was feeling by the shade of red his ears had turned.

"Carrie, I will expect you to submit to my unusual fantasies and fetishes, as we have stated and explained, you now have to state that you understand this agreement, and willingly enter into this contract, that may be terminated by either of us at any time, forfeiting any further commitments." Myra paused to smile softly at her then, "I have no desire to harm you, or hurt you dear, but some of my games might cause some discomfort. Is that ok?"

Carrie returned the smile, "Myra, I'm young but not inexperienced, I understand what you want and this is a really good deal for me. Of course I agree." And that had sealed her fate..


Present day

The vinyl catsuit creaked as she walked the length of the house. Her feet were used to heels, but this time Myra had strapped six inch stiletto heeled boots on her as soon as she had locked the zipper on the corset. Made of heavy black vinyl (like everything else on her body) the corset trimmed several inches from her waist, and was securely locked, with a zippered cover over the laces. Carrie had thought the padlocks were unnecessary back when she had first been made to wear these things. She soon found out though, that Myra would happily leave her locked into them for two or three days, even when she wasn't home.

She wouldn't be left alone today though. Carrie had been pleased when Myra had asked for the arm-binder. That was why she was walking alone through the huge house now, it had been left in Myra's bedroom and Myra's playroom was as far from it as you could get and still be in the house. Soon she'd have her arms encased in another layer of vinyl, pinned tightly together from the elbows down, and of course Myra would add locks to every buckle.

"There my darling, once I lock your collar you can begin the game" Myra almost purred when she got to this point, her arousal and excitement were always obvious to Carrie. "I've left the keys all over the house, and two of them are out in the gardens. Once you have all ten of them I will unlock you from your restraints."

Carrie groaned inwardly, she knew that Myra was as good as her word. She not only would make her find every single key, but she would only release her restraints, and that never included the corset, catsuit heels or gag. Myra didn't include them as restraints. She'd be in this all night.


Many years earlier

"I don't know Carrie, I don't think we should." her boyfriend complained. Once again she'd let her inner secrets out only to have them used against her, made to feel as if she were wrong. She knew that people did things like bondage all the time. She'd seen it on the internet and even in some old magazines. Someone besides her had to like the feeling of helplessness, or else there wouldn't be such a market for it. Everything she'd read had led her to believe that it was hard for a man to find a woman willing to be tied up, not the other way around. Yet here she was again, faced with the prospect of another night of unsatisfying (for her) vanilla sex.

That night had been one of many, until Carrie had given up on a relationship, choosing to focus on her education and deciding to worry about the rest later in life.


Present day

As she passed the mirror in the master bathroom Carrie looked at herself. Five feet eight, about 118 pounds, c-cups, though the corset made them swell much larger, and with good curves. She had every right to be proud of her body, even if she judged herself against Myra's more womanly figure. Her eyes traveled up from the zippered crotch of the catsuit, taking in the corset and the criss-crossed straps of the binder. Then she noticed which collar she was wearing. I won't get any sleep tonight, she thought to herself. The high vinyl collar kept her head from turning and had a silver tag in the front. SLUT, was engraved into the silver and embossed with bright red enamel, making it impossible to ignore. Oh god help me, she's here for three more days. Though her thoughts were silent, the wetness that had been growing inside her suit suddenly became more noticeable. The chain between her ankle cuffs dragged across the expensive imported marble floor as she searched the room with her eyes. There, one more on the back of the tub. She had found eight keys in the house, now she needed two more and those would be outside. She had no way to collect the keys, and Myra would know that, so she had yet to discover how she was supposed to deliver them.

Carrie knew that the yard and surrounding grounds would be empty. Myra always locked the gates when it was time to play her games and no one lived near enough to get a view of her, at least from the front yard. The back of the house sat along the beach, but it was early in the season yet, and no boats were on the water. Carrie considered all this as she stood looking out the glass door, wondering how she'd ever be able to open it. She'd been to every door in the house and none of them had been left open for her. She knew Myra delighted in making her wander about in one of her outfits. The longer she stayed bound up like this, the longer it would be until Myra set her free. Myra was a bit of a sadist in that regard, never letting Carrie have any freedom that she didn't pay for dearly. She found Myra lounging with a book in one of the fireplace rooms, though no fire was lit. Smiling up at her Myra said "Need some help my pretty plaything?" Carrie squirmed and Myra noticed her hips moving in the vinyl. "I see you remember the price for my help. Let me see, you can't get outside to find the keys, can you?" Carrie just blinked her long lashes, as the collar did not allow her to move her head. "Come here and I'll show you what it will cost today," Myra whispered. Carrie took a few more steps and stood close to Myra's footstool. Myra was dressed neck to toe in a very similar vinyl catsuit. She watched Carrie's eyes as she opened a small box and showed her a silver egg-shaped sex toy. Her hands quickly unlocked Carrie's suit and exposed her sex to cool air for the first time in a day. Carrie, unable to gasp as the egg entered her, moaned into the gag instead, causing her tormentor to laugh softly. Once it was locked inside her, Myra showed her the remote control, "this is a new one, the further you get from me, the more it vibrates. Later on I will reverse it, so it vibrates more when I am close." Carries eyes showed her concern, as she knew the devious nature of Myra's sex toys. She always had them custom made and a few of her favorites almost hurt from the intensity. She had no doubt she'd find out how powerful this one would be soon enough.

After opening the glass door Myra sent her out into the yard and locked it behind her. "Ring the bell when you want to come in, pet."


A few years earlier

Myra smiled as the new girl walked to her car. She knew she'd return soon, having only a few possessions to gather for her move to the house. It had taken awhile, but at last she had found a willing woman that had the right temperament and situation. Robert, who wasn't at all what he seemed, had been hired to research several candidates, and when Carrie had been singled out, he had made sure she would be the one applying for the caretaker position. "Thank you Robert," she said to him when she returned to the kitchen to find him waiting, "but I don't think I will need your services any longer, though I will keep you on a retainer, just to ensure privacy." Robert, always professional, just nodded and got up to leave. "You promised that she wouldn't be harmed. I won't be a part of anything like that."

"Of course not. I never break my toys. They are far too expensive to find." She laughed as she said it. "Besides, I only enjoy the torment and the pleasure. Nothing else interests me." He nodded again, collected his case and left. She knew he'd be watching the house. She had other men that were watching Robert, and others watching them. She knew her privacy was highly paid for, and she intended to keep it that way. The excitement of finally meeting her new playmate was almost too much.

In her bedroom she released a hidden panel and went down the stairs that were revealed. In the cool basement she undressed, shedding her long skirt and satin blouse, revealing a steel belt around her waist with a shield locked in place between her legs. It resembled commercially available chastity belts, but this one was customized for her personal tastes. Made of stainless steel and fitted with a hardened steel lock, there was no way out of it without a key. A key Myra didn't have. She could clean herself, and use the bathroom, but there wasn't any way she could pleasure herself while it was locked. A trip to Sweden for a visit with a specialist left her pubic mound bald forever. The vault she had had built into the concrete wall could be opened by anyone at the moment, anyone except Myra. The sophisticated electronic lock was programmed to deny her access, but the next person to place their eye close to the reader would be able to open it at any time. Of course the only key to her belt was safely inside, right where Myra had put it. Looking at the vault Myra cupped her hand under her crotch and wept. She hoped that she had found the right person at last.


Present day

Carrie's ankles ached from walking on the soft sod in the spiked heels. She thought that she'd been out there for over an hour, and the binder would start bothering her soon. She's spotted the first key easily, it was held to the trunk of a flowering tree with a tack. The second one was proving to be a lot harder to find, especially so because of the increasing intensity of the egg that was zipped up inside the suit with her. She could tell that Myra had gone to the other end of the house as soon as the door was closed. The egg had begun to dance within her, leaving her knees weak with the lustful feelings it gave her. She could feel her wetness and sweat mixing together inside the vinyl. It was a familiar sensation. Myra seemed to have a huge fetish for the PVC material. She often wore the same thing she dressed Carrie in, without the restraints of course.

The first orgasm put her on her knees right in the middle of the yard. She gasped and shook with the surprising intensity. The second one left her panting near the boathouse. She had fallen to her knees and then shamelessly, unable to stop herself, had turned over and humped the ground, desperate for just a little more sensation. While she rested there she saw the final key laying on the flagstone path. Now all she had to do was return to Myra, and hope she could remember where each one was. As she walked to the house the vibe had begun to slow its torment, but Myra was in the upstairs window and suddenly it was buzzing like a demonic bee in her pussy. She could make out Myra laughing as she once again dropped to her knees in the grass, the orgasm taking her breath away and making all of her bondage feel so much tighter. Her eyes hazed over as she struggled and fought her restraints, helpless to stop her body from reaching climax yet again.

Once she made it to the door and managed to press the bell with her bound hands, Myra immediately opened the door and brought her inside. "Now take me to each key Carrie, and then you can be released." No offer was made to stop the incessant buzzing that was still making her juices flow.


A few years earlier

Carrie shook as Myra helped her slide the PVC bodysuit up over her hips. She trembled harder as it was pulled over her shoulders and zipped up the back. "It's very tight. Should it be?" she asked. She'd never worn vinyl like this before, and never had a woman help her dress. "Of course, it has to be or it doesn't look right. Now be still while I lock you in it."

"Lock!" Carrie exclaimed, "Why would you lock me in it?"

"So you can't get it off, of course," Myra explained like it was the most obvious thing.

"But, what if I, if I need to.."

"Shh," Myra admonished as she clicked the lock closed, sealing Carrie inside her bodysuit. "I'll take care of all that."

And Myra had taken care of everything, just as she had promised. That first experience had lasted a full week, with every bodily function Carrie had, monitored and controlled by the woman with the key. On the last day Carrie shyly asked Myra if she was allowed to masturbate. Myra smiled and laughed, genuinely happy to let her have enough freedom to pleasure herself while wearing the vinyl suit. She even let her have privacy.

After Myra left Carrie had searched the house, but she couldn't find a trace of the bodysuit, or any other kinky sort of gear. She woke up several times over the next few weeks, remembering, almost missing the feeling of the tight vinyl that had held her captive for seven days. Those feelings would grow and intensify as Myra steadily trapped her in tighter, more restrictive outfits, for longer periods.

After that week Myra left her alone for almost a month. It was a Friday night when she called and asked Carrie to prepare the house and that she would be staying there a week. She had been a bit concerned, as the first experience had left her a bit confused, but it had also been exciting.

At the end of one stay a few months later Carrie was still wearing a tight fitting catsuit that had several zippers. The main one going up the back, but also one through her crotch, along with one over each breast that would expose her nipples. When Myra made no move to unlock it Carrie stopped her at the door.

"Myra, where are my keys?"

"I have them dear, and I'll bring them back in a few days. There is a key, on a chain in your bathroom that will unlock your crotch so you may use the toilet, but the key won't come out of the lock unless you close the lock. Be a good girl and zip up before you close the lock, ok?"

Carrie had stood in the doorway staring long after Myra's car had driven out of sight. She had been in a state of shock and found that her loss of control, even now that she was alone, was very exciting. She had been curious about this kind of submission for a very long time, and now she was helpless to stop it. Her mind raced over her options. She could cut her way out of the suit, but she was certain that her agreement with Myra would end if she did. Besides, why should she? She enjoyed the tight slippery feel almost as much as Myra seemed to. So she spent the next four days alone, dressed in skin tight PVC, and enjoying every second of it.

A few days turned out to be three, and Carrie was ready to be out of the vinyl catsuit by then. As soon as Myra pulled up Carrie was helping her with her bags. She didn't even bother to check if anyone could see her before she left the protection of the house. That had been something else she had discovered while alone. She knew when the yard crew would be there, and when the maids came, so she planned walks around the grounds while she was locked into her outfit. Carrie found that she felt free somehow, almost liberated, even though she couldn't identify what is was she had been liberated from.


Present day

Myra had made her lead her to each key, one by one. First the eight that were inside, then they went outdoors together. The egg had been turned down, but as soon as the door closed Myra turned it back up again. Carrie's shocked expression turned into one of pleading as Myra took her right to the edge of orgasm, and held her there. After several steps Carrie stopped, turned to Myra with a look of longing, but Myra only shook her head and walked on without her. If she didn't catch up Myra would walk in the opposite direction, prolonging Carrie's torment. As quick as her ankle chains would let her she trotted to catch up to the devious woman who had made her so helpless.

Carrie was sweating freely inside the heavy vinyl. Her juices were running freely as well, making the vinyl feel slick and wet inside. She's got to let me come again, please! Carrie pleaded silently to herself. The thick penis shaped rubber thing filling her mouth was strapped in too tightly to allow her to shamelessly beg, as she knew she would be. By the time they reached the last key Carrie could barely walk. Her mind had the ability to focus on anything except her overwhelming desire to orgasm. Myra, please! She pleaded silently again. My pussy is on fire, please let me come!

How she got on her knees she couldn't remember, but Myra was standing over her with a wide smile on her face, the control to the egg in one hand. Her thumb touched a control and the intense vibrations stopped suddenly, causing Carrie to grunt as loud as the gag allowed. "Back to the house dear," Myra commanded, and Carrie once again found herself trotting along.

Once inside Myra removed the arm binder, carefully massaging feeling back into her arms. She took the hood and gag off next and used a soft cloth to remove Carrie's ruined makeup and drool. Off came the stiff corset as well. The catsuit would stay, she knew, at least until the next day. Myra obviously enjoyed keeping her locked in overnight. Carrie said very little while Myra held her as they lay on the bed together. The egg slept inside her overnight, nearly forgotten until the next day.

"Carrie darling, wake up now," came Myra's voice into her dreams of floating and drifting.

"Good morning, Tormenter," Carrie smiled at Myra. "Did you sleep as well as I did?"

"I slept very well dear, but it's time to get up, I have something to share with you today." And with that Myra opened the secret passage. Carrie was astonished, because she had suspected something like this had existed for years, but could never find it.

"Come along," she purred. Carrie climbed from the bed, the vinyl still hot and clinging to her.

With a laugh she stood up. "Myra, the egg!"

Myra looked back at her and winked, "I'll give you the remote later, greedy girl." Carrie blushed, because that's exactly what she was hoping for.


A few years earlier

Carrie stood in front of Myra, naked except for a thong, made of vinyl of course. Myra was slowly binding her wrists with yards of soft rope, explaining everything carefully as she went along. More rope was wrapped around her torso, above and below her breasts, capturing them between coils. Soon Myra was binding her ankles and thighs, above and below her knees too.

"I had no idea you would use so much rope Myra," Carrie commented.

"The more I use the more you can struggle and not get rope burn darling," Myra explained.

They had been working up slowly to tighter and tighter outfits, but today Myra was doing something different. Carrie had expressed an interest in rope bondage and Myra agreed to show her what it was like. They were both enjoying the soft flow of conversation as Myra worked to restrain Carrie completely. After laying her down on the floor she connected more rope from Carrie's ankles to the chest harness and pulled her into a tight hogtie, which made her gasp and they both giggled.

"Myra, before I end up gagged, may I ask you something?" Carrie asked.

"Of course you can. What would you like to know?" Myra replied as she sat down in one of the armchairs, making sure she had a good view of Carrie's little attempts to struggle free. She wasn't really trying, not because the bondage was too good to be able to escape, which it was, but because Carrie didn't really want free.

"We've been doing all this for a while now, and you... well, you, take care of me. I know I get paid and all.. but.." Myra just watched as Carrie worked up the courage to ask her question.

"Isn't there some way I can...well... take care of you?" She finally managed to say.

"There is a way, but have patience dear." Myra replied as she smiled fondly at her captive. And with that she buckled a heavy leather panel gag over Carrie's mouth and let her struggle for a few hours before freeing her.


Present day

Carrie followed Myra down the steps to the rooms below. The lights revealed a comfortable sitting area next to a long wooden table, and a few other things Carrie recognized from BDSM videos she'd seen on the 'net. Myra turned and looked down at her, her face serious. "Carrie, I have come to trust you over the last few years, and I think you trust me."

Carrie giggled and smiled at that. "I would say I completely trust you Myra, with everything."

"Then I want to trust you with something I don't trust myself with. Are you ready for that?"

Carrie looked at Myra carefully, never having seen her act even slightly nervous before. "Will this change our relationship?" She asked.

"Yes, and no. I have no intention of changing our agreement. I am quite happy with the way it has worked out. However, it will give you some control, if you want it."

"I don't want to change the way you treat me Myra, I love the things you do to me, the way you make me feel, but I told you before, I am willing to do most anything for you, too."

Tears were welling in Myra's eyes now, and she had to take a few calming breaths before she could speak. "I'm going to give you a key, to this," she said as she untied the loose skirt she had been wearing and revealed, for the first time, the chastity belt she had been locked into for years.

Carrie's eyes went wide as she realized what Myra was wearing, no, what Myra was locked into. "Do you wear that all the time?" she asked.

"I don't have a choice dear, I locked myself into it before you and I ever met and it hasn't come off since."

They sat together on the bed then, and talked for a long time about Myra's self-enforced chastity, and what it meant to their relationship. They talked about rules and time schedules, and Myra explained how the safe worked too. Carrie took the key out, but didn't unlock Myra right then...

If anyone had been watching the yard over the next few days they may have noticed that the woman in the hood now had black hair, and a blonde woman was smiling down upon her from a second story window.





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