Author's Note:Just a quickie, for fun !


Big Bang Theory: The Abduction Conundrum

It is a little known fact that the original pilot script for The Big Bang Theory was very different from what finally appeared on our screens ...

Scene 1 – a smart restaurant. Leonard stands at the small bar, looking nervously around and glancing at his watch. He is wearing a corduroy jacket with leather elbow patches, blue jeans, brown shoes and a bow tie. There are two large glasses of white wine on the bar and he takes a sip from one of them. View shifts to Penny, standing at the door watching Leonard. She is wearing a short black dress, stockings and high heels, her hair is tied up. We hear her inner monologue.

PENNY: What the Hell am I doing here, about to go on a date with THIS guy ? He is SO not my type – he's not any girl's type ! He's got about as much sex appeal as an insurance clerk. But then, I haven't had a date in six months and it IS a free meal ... oh well, what's the worst that can happen ?

She enters and goes over to Leonard with a broad smile. They greet each other, nervously giggling, but quickly fall into an awkward silence.

LEONARD: I took the liberty of ordering you a drink ...

Penny grabs the glass and drains it in one go, before putting it down on the bar a little too forcefully. She beams brightly at Leonard.

LEONARD (a little weakly): Another ?

PENNY: Hell yes !

LEONARD: So ... Penny ... how's the acting going ?

PENNY (taking a large gulp from her refilled glass): Oh, you know, a few auditions ...

LEONARD: Still waitressing at the Cheesecake Factory, huh ?

PENNY: Well, it pays the rent, kinda, most months ...

Penny leans against the bar and puts her hand to her forehead, as if the wine is getting to her. She shakes her head and refocuses.

PENNY: Hey, isn't that your friend ?

LEONARD (pretending he doesn't see Howard): Huh ? Which one ?

PENNY: You know, the geeky one

LEONARD: You'll have to be a little more specific !

PENNY: The one with the weird hair, makes inappropriate remarks, always undressing me with his eyes

LEONARD: Again, you just described most people I know !

PENNY (pointing): Over there !

LEONARD: Oh, hi Howard !

Howard smiles and waves, then comes over to them. Penny smiles at him, but then sways forward and puts her hand on his shoulder to steady herself. She shakes her head again and straightens up.

HOWARD: Hi, guys ! Fancy meeting you two here ! I was just waiting for my, er, date

PENNY (struggling to stay upright): Really ?!

LEONARD: Penny, you okay ? You don't look so good

PENNY: I don't feel so good, either.

HOWARD: Maybe we should just help you outside, for a breath of fresh air

Penny puts her arm around Leonard's shoulders and he leads her towards the door. As she seems about to fall, Howard grabs her other arm and puts it over his own shoulders and between them they half-drag her out. Penny's head lolls onto her chest as she becomes unconscious. Leonard gives the waiter an apologetic smile and shrug as they go past him.

HOWARD (to waiter): Girl can't hold her wine ! Such a slut, but what are you gonna do?

Leonard scowls at Howard. The waiter shakes his head in disapproval as they leave.

Scene 2 – close up on Penny's face as she gradually wakes up. Her hair is no longer tied up but falls around her face. As the camera pulls back, we see her bare arms on either side of her face, and as she looks up in puzzlement, we see her wrists are tied together and the rope is tied to an eyebolt in the ceiling. The camera pulls further back, and we see that her dress has been removed and she is standing wearing a strapless bra, skimpy panties which tie at the side, a suspender belt, sheer stockings and high heels, all black. Her legs are held apart by a spreader bar strapped to her ankles. She looks at her bonds uncomprehendingly, pulls on the rope and tugs against the spreader bar, struggling sexily but ineffectually. She looks around and then directly in front of her, and we see that she is in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, with Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj sitting in a line on garden chairs, staring at her.

LEONARD: Well, thanks for your help, guys, but I can take it from here

SHELDON: What are you talking about ?

LEONARD: I'd like a little privacy, if that's okay with you ?

SHELDON: Hmm, I don't think so, Leonard, are you forgetting the roommate agreement ?

LEONARD: What ?!

SHELDON: Page 23, section 47, sub-paragraph 1.1 – "If one roommate abducts or otherwise detains a woman against her will for 'nefarious' activities, the other roommate shall be allowed to participate in said 'nefarious' activities, fully and actively"

LEONARD: Really ?! I gotta re-read that thing ! But you guys can go (indicates Howard and Raj)

SHELDON: Sub-paragraph 1.2 – "Sub-paragraph 1.1 extends to all members of the group"

LEONARD: Oh alright !

PENNY: Excuse me, but what the Hell is going on ?

HOWARD: See, I TOLD you she'd have something to say about this !

LEONARD: Yeah, but she can't DO anything about it, can she ?

PENNY: You think not ? Just untie me and you'll see ...

Leonard stands up and walks over to Penny. He pulls a red ball gag from his pocket.

PENNY: You are in SO much trouble ! Hey, what are you doing ? Don't you dare-mpfhhh !!

Leonard stuffs the ball into her mouth and buckles it tight behind her head. Penny struggles and cries out into the gag, to no effect.

RAJ: You should have done that in the first place, dude

LEONARD: Nah, I've always wanted to cut a woman off in mid-sentence by stuffing a ball gag in her mouth ! Especially when she's nagging me. Hey, I thought you couldn't talk when there was a woman around ?

RAJ (shrugging): Doesn't seem to apply when the woman is bound and gagged

HOWARD: Good to know

SHELDON: So, how do we decide who does what to her and when ?

LEONARD: What do you mean ? Surely I get her first ?

SHELDON: Oh, I hardly think that's fair. I think we should draw lots

LEONARD: Excuse me, we have a semi-naked woman tied up in front of us and you're suggesting we play games ?!

SHELDON: Why, certainly ! Leonard, you'll soon learn that anticipation is so much better than consummation – and lasts so much longer !

HOWARD: Can we just get on with it ?

Sheldon gets a pack of playing cards. Penny continues to struggle and cry out to no effect.

SHELDON: For the honor of removing her bra – 5-card stud or gin rummy ?

LEONARD (exasperated): For the love of ... one card draw, highest wins !

Howard wins. He goes over to Penny with a broad grin, stands in front of her and reaches behind her to unhook her bra. After a time struggling, his confident grin turns to furious concentration as he peers over her shoulder and under her arm to see what he is doing. Eventually, he looks embarrassed and walks around behind her. Penny rolls her eyes. He finally releases the bra and removes it, revealing her pert breasts. He reaches around and cups them, tweaking her nipples until they are fully erect. Penny wriggles and makes noises which may not be entirely protests. Howard closes his eyes, pushes his body against her back and sinks his teeth into her shoulder.

RAJ (enviously): Dude, let's get on with it, we all want a go !

SHELDON: Panties next !

Raj wins. He lets out a yelp of glee and goes over to Penny, stands in front of her, cups her face in his hands and kisses her lips stretched around the ball gag, then licks her cheeks, nose and eyes, making Penny squeal in protest. He runs his hands over her golden thighs, then over the material of her panties, feeling between her legs. He pulls the bows on either side and the panties slip off. He brings the material up to his face and sniffs it. Penny looks horrified.

RAJ: She's already wet down there !

HOWARD: What a dirty girl !

Raj rubs between her thighs, before easing two fingers up inside her. Penny lets out something between a scream and a sigh. Her hips sway as she moves herself up and down on Raj's fingers.

LEONARD (urgently): Cmon, let's go !

SHELDON: Okay, whoever wins this time gets to 'deflower' her !

LEONARD: Are you kidding ? What are we, knights of the round table doing Queen Guinevere ?

SHELDON: Whatever turns you on, Leonard !

Leonard wins. He whoops and goes over to Penny. They look into each other's eyes, him nervously, her in fear. He drops his pants and they both look down at the tent pole in his boxers, which he then pulls down to reveal a rock-hard erection. Penny shakes her head and mumbles in protest. Leonard picks her up by her thighs and drops her onto his cock, bringing another muffled scream from her. He bounces her up and down while he grunts and she moans. After a couple of minutes, Leonard finishes, drops her back on the floor and staggers back to his seat. Penny looks hot and flustered, and hangs limply, her head bowed.

SHELDON: Let's go again

RAJ: Hey, Leonard doesn't get another go, does he ?

HOWARD: No fair !

LEONARD: That's okay, guys, I'll sit this next one out

Penny raises her head with a look of horror and disbelief as she watches the cards being dealt again.

Scene 3 - Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, later that night. It is dark. Raj lies curled up on the sofa naked; Howard is sprawled on the floor in boxers; Leonard is sprawled in a chair; all are asleep. Penny is draped across the round table, naked. Her arms and legs are tied to the table legs and her head is hanging over the edge of the table. Her body is shiny with sweat and other bodily substances, and there are faint red marks, maybe rope burns or possibly whip marks, its too dark to tell.

Sheldon enters from the bedroom area. He is wearing very brief briefs, and it is obvious he has an erection. He goes over to the table and looks down at Penny's sleeping face with a smile. He leans down to her.

SHELDON: Penny ! (he slaps her face three times) Penny ! (slap, slap, slap) Penny !

PENNY (sleepily): Whu-wha-what ?

SHELDON: Hi Penny, how are you ?

PENNY: What the fuck do you want, Sheldon ?

SHELDON: Well, you know earlier, when I said I was totally exhausted ?

PENNY: Uh-huh

SHELDON: I'm afraid something's come up ... again

PENNY: For God's sake, Sheldon, I'm worn out, I can't take any-gurrk !

Penny is cut off as Sheldon thrusts his cock into her mouth. We watch him rhythmically moving back or forth with a smile on his face, while Penny makes gagging noises below. As his level of excitement grows, he grabs at her breasts in front of him.

SHELDON: Penny ! (he slaps her pussy three times) Penny ! (slap, slap, slap) Penny ! (slap, slap, slap) Oh, Penny ! You know the old lies – "I'll always love you", "the check's in the mail", "I promise I won't cum in your mouth" ?

Sheldon pulls a face and grunts, while Penny makes choking noises.

SHELDON: I find they're so true, don't you ?

Sheldon wanders out of shot, and we hear Penny coughing and spluttering.

Scene 4 – Leonard's bedroom, still later that night. We see Penny staring into the camera, her head pressed against the sheets and moving rhythmically back and forth. Her face is criss-crossed by the leather straps of a head harness and a rubber bit is between her teeth. Saliva hangs from her mouth onto the sheet in front of her. The camera pulls back and we see her arms are encased in a leather arm binder behind her back. Behind her is Leonard, thrusting into her from behind, we can't tell which hole. He has a thoughtful look on his face as he works away.

LEONARD: You know, Penny, I think you're going to enjoy being our sex slave. Maybe not at first, with the sex and all, but we'll get tired of it when the novelty wears off. I got lots of great ideas of cool stuff for you to wear, and you can live here rent-free ! That'll save you a bundle, you won't have to work at that Cheesecake Factory any more. And I'm sure we can get you into the movies – porn movies, obviously, but that's just the start !

Leonard pulls a face and grunts, while Penny's eyes widen.

Scene 5 – Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, the next day. Leonard and Sheldon are sitting on the sofa, watching TV. Leonard is dressed as Luke Skywalker and Sheldon as Darth Vader, both holding light sabres. The Star Wars theme comes from the TV.

SHELDON: Return of the Jedi was always my favorite

LEONARD: Mine too ! What do you think, Penny ?

We see Penny kneeling in front of them holding a tub of popcorn, dressed as Princess Leia in a slave costume, complete with heavy iron chain. She smiles sourly a them, but bows low and offers the popcorn to them.

CREDITS AND FADE.